Macaw’s winning ways
THE world’s greatest footballers are leaving Europe to ply their trade in more profitable continents.
Ronaldo struts and preens (and occasionally boots a ball) in Saudi Arabia, while Messi has a messianic role in America, preaching the gospel of soccer.
Back in Europe there is a struggle to fill the vacated positions on the footy pitch, which possibly explains why a parrot took to the field in Orkney, where Stromness were playing Hotspurs in a Reid Cup match.
The bird – a macaw named Blu – played a pivotal role. After he joined the game, Stromness fought back from 4-0 down, eventually drawing 5-5, and winning on penalties.
It was later revealed that the bird wasn’t sent on by the Stromness manager, but is a local pet who often goes for an afternoon jaunt.
He fled to the sanctity of the footy pitch after a gang of seagulls and crows started bullying him.
Blu’s owner, Carla Brown, has apologised unreservedly for the pitch invasion. Blu has yet to comment, not even a squawk of contrition.
He’s possibly keeping his council until he gets a big-money signing in Saudi.
Footy faux pas
MORE kickyball news. Reader Foster Evans tells us of a dramatic change to the footy landscape.
Perusing the BBC sports website, he spotted that St Johnstone were described as the Paisley Saints.
If the Beeb are right about this, it means absent-minded Perth have mislaid an entire squad.
Mind your language
LINGUISTICALLY limber Diary correspondent Patricia Castleton says: “Oxymorons are just unfair.”
Toilet humour
LEARNING Italian is handy for visiting places like Rome, for it allows you to ask sophisticated questions in the native lingo, such as: “Why isn’t this pizza deep-fried like a proper Scottish one?”
Learning Italian is also vitally important in Glasgow, especially when you’re desperate for a whizz.
Reader Deedee Cuddihy informs us that for several weeks the multilingual public toilets at St. Vincent Place have flashed the message FUORI SERVIZIO, with no English version of the words provided.
We’re guessing the phrase translates to mean the toilets are ‘out of order’.
Or perhaps it’s an entreaty to go elsewhere to pee, and Fuori Servizio is Italian for ‘feel free to drench a nearby lamppost’.
Beatles for brunch
OUR correspondents are fusing famous music acts with delicious food. David Walker suggests blending a fab quartet from the 1960s with Indian cuisine, leading to… Pepper-backed Raita.
Booze ban
“I GAVE up drinking and eat noodles, instead,” says reader Vicki Phillips. “I'm now six months soba.
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereLast Updated:
Report this comment Cancel