Letting rip 
THE Diary’s vivacious fashion correspondent Jim Morrison has noticed that those rugged outdoor jackets sold by the North Face clothing brand are currently very popular.
Which reminds Jim of a conversation about haute couture that he once overheard in Inchinnan Community Club, when a notoriously grumpy member arrived wearing a North Face jacket. 
A fellow member, glancing at the logo, said: “Should that no say the Torn Face on your jacket, Hughie?” 

Flight of fancy 
A DIARY tale about the perils of flying reminds Gordon McRae of a trip he took from Leeds to Bradford on a rickety little plane with propellers on the wings and a minimum number of seats inside.
One of the passengers mentioned to the flight attendant that he could feel a cold draught. 
The attendant promised to address the problem and promptly disappeared behind the curtain, into the cockpit, where Gordon assumed she was adjusting the air conditioning. 
A minute later she emerged from behind the curtain and announced that the temperature should definitely improve, as she had asked the pilot to close his window. 
Our uneasy reader hoped this was just her little joke…

Watch the birdy 
UTOPIAN idealist Tony Mills from Grangemouth says: “I dream of living in a world where a chicken can cross a road without having its motives questioned.”

The Kilmarnock edition 
WE recently mentioned a cinematic game once played in the Diary, where we asked readers to rewrite famous movie quotations as though they had been delivered in Scotland.
To celebrate Glasgow Film Festival, starting later this month, we’ve decided to revive this patriotic pursuit. 
David Donaldson suggests: “Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kilmarnock any more.”

Gunning for victory
LAST week’s Wellingborough by-election was bad news for the Tories and good news for Labour.
It was even better news for the Diary, as it has provided us with a perfect example of nominative determinism, for an independent candidate in the election was… Ana Savage Gunn. 
Or A. Savage Gunn, for short.
Even more intriguingly, Diary correspondent Rosie Wheeler points out that A. Savage Gunn was formerly a senior police officer.
Adds Rosie: “Of course, the British police aren’t as heavily armed as their American counterparts.
“So when she was still in the force, Ana should have changed her name to A. Savage Truncheon.”

Biting humour 
RAVENOUS reader Patricia Hague tells us: “When I go to McDonald’s I like to have a happy meal, so I leave the kids at home.”