Not so sweet
A POLLOKSHIELDS mother confesses: “My three-year-old asked if he could have for his breakfast the Maltesers his grandma gave him the previous day when she called round.
“I emphatically told him he could not, saying it would be bad for his teeth and inappropriate for breakfast.
“My argument was probably strengthened by the fact I had eaten them the night before when he was in bed and I was watching my favourite hospital drama on the telly.”

Bin there
IT was bin day for me yesterday, so it was timeous that a reader should also email yesterday: “It’s an unspoken rule on bin day that neighbours putting them out in their pyjamas pretend not to see each other.”
And TV presenter Richard Osman mused: “Barack Obama was younger than me when he became President.
“And Tony Blair was 43 when he became PM. I don’t even know which colour recycling bin is which.”

Well aisle be
ANOTHER reader phoned to declare yesterday: “Breakdown of US/North Korea talks and ongoing Gaza violence threaten to distract from main news story on the TV regarding man’s possible attendance at daughter’s wedding.”

Swinging on a star
CHANCE meetings with famous folk continued. Says David Knight: “Forty odd years ago my pal’s dad, a member of the R&A, was entering the club-house at St Andrews.
“He observed the uniformed club porter stiffly address a plus-four attired American and overheard the immortal sentence, ‘Ah dinnae care if yer name’s Bing Crosby, ye cannae come in the club hoose!’
“Anxious to demonstrate Scottish hospitality, our man signed
said crooner in and bought him a pint.”

Tres Chic
OUR story yesterday about when the great Scots comedian Chic Murray lived in Glasgow’s west end, and couldn’t stop making jokes when he bumped into people, reminded a reader of actor Finlay Welsh once saying that he bumped into Chic on Byres Road and they stopped for a chat.
At the end Chic asked: “Oh, by the way Finlay, when we met just now, was I coming down Byres Road or was I going up?”
“Well, as I’m on my way up to the BBC to do a voiceover, you must have been coming down,” replied Finlay.
“Oh, that’s good,” said Chic, “I’ll have had my lunch then.”

Light went on
A NEWS story stated that using mobile phones after 10pm can trigger depression and loneliness, according to research.
A reader tells us: “I used to take my mobile phone to bed but stopped after I dropped it one night and thought it had bounced under the bed.
“I got down on my knees, peered under the bed and couldn’t see it.
“Without thinking, I noticed my phone lying beside my leg so I picked it up and used the light in the phone to look for it under the bed. Then the penny dropped.”

Got it covered
THOSE of us who like to buy our books second-hand online will sympathise with Oonagh Keating who remarked: “I ordered a book described as having ‘slight foxing’. Looks like they’d been using it to kill chickens.”

Shoerly not
READER John Doran was in the clothing department at an M&S store near Glasgow when he heard a sales assistant ask her supervisor: “When did we start putting security tags into our shoes?”
A customer looking at the rack couldn’t help joining in the conversation with: “Is that in case they walk?”