Fly guy

STRESSFUL time going on holiday. As Paddy Galloway recorded on his way to Portugal: "Scenes in Dublin Airport as a red-faced man shouts at his wife for losing the passports., 'You remembered every ******* pair of shoes but not the ******* passports' has been the standout line."

Any more holiday disasters?

Gone fishing

AMIDST all the World Cup chatter, former England keeper David Seaman was recalling on Talksport Radio when he was at Euro 96 with then Rangers star Paul Gascoigne. He explained that manager Terry Venables thought Paul was "getting a bit hyper" being stuck in the training camp so Terry gave them dispensation to go fishing. They were on a private lake when they saw what they thought was a fellow fishermen taking pictures and realised it was a press photographer. Not wanting a big thing made of their fishing escapade they chased after him and asked for his film. He refused, so Paul grabbed his mobile phone and then started letting down his tyres.

The worried snapper drove off straight through the wooden gate. David said he told Paul, still holding the mobile phone, to press redial, and it was answered by then Mirror editor Piers Morgan who refused their request not to use the pics. Strange, he seems such a nice man that Piers Morgan.

Left it alone

TALKING of Rangers, sad to hear of the death of Ibrox legend Jimmy Hubbard who scored 65 of the 68 penalties he took for the club. Jimmy Brown, the ex-Kilmarnock keeper, who had saved one of the three was years later boasting about the feat at a coaching occasion. Hubbard bet him a pound that he would put 10 past him there and then. He later recalled that he hit the first four to the left and realised that Brown expected the next one to go right, so he hit the next six to the left also, with Brown always diving to the right.

Incidentally Jimmy's son once wrote to The Herald about football club discipline and said his dad cycled to Ibrox thinking it would be good for his fitness but was summoned to manager Bill Struth's office and told to get rid of the bike as it was "totally inappropriate" for a Rangers player.

Bit of a show

GREAT weather yesterday for the start of the Royal Highland Show. Our old chum Tom Shields once came back from the show and announced that, after seeing the fashions that the landed gentry wore, if he could design a rainproof tweed rugby shirt, it would make his fortune.

Not everyone was happy with the show though. Rob Flett told his pals on social media: "I’m sitting with a plane-load of people on the tarmac at Edinburgh Airport waiting for the First Officer, who is stuck in the Royal Highland Show traffic. Unbelievable!"


SEEMINGLY there is a carbon dioxide shortage which could affect beer supplies. Pub chain Wetherspoons says it will review the situation in the next few days, however a "Spoons" customer phones The Diary to explain: "Regulars are advised that if they bring a straw there’s a couple of weeks' worth in the carpets."


STILL trying to understand American politics after President Trump backtracks on separating the children of illegal immigrants from their parents. His daughter Ivanka Trump praised her dad, stating: "Thank you President for taking critical action ending family separation at our border." But as Dan Pfeiffer replied to her: "You don't thank the kidnapper for releasing the hostages."