IT’S official! Insulting MSPs is good for democracy. Let the bells ring out the news and joy be unconfined. We have Nicola Sturgeon, the glorious muppet, to thank for this permission slip.
The First Minister called it healthy freedom of speech at FMQs. Well, I’m all for healthy living. The healthier the better. Maybe even compulsory exercise of the insult muscle.
But before she could bestow this gift on the Fourth Estate, Ms Sturgeon first had to wade through the dregs of Plodgate after another chief constable scarpered, cheque in hand.
Ruth Davidson demanded reform - the police oversight body must be appointed by Holyrood, like other watchdogs, not handpicked by ministers.
Ms Sturgeon, who rather likes picking stooges (see cabinet for details), sucked her teeth.
Mmmm, tricky. Not a bad idea, but would take a new law. Lot of hassle, laws. Mmmm.
Ms Davidson was impatient. “Guess what, First Minister. This is a Parliament, and changing the law is what we do!”
Ain’t that the terrible truth.
Green Patrick Harvie then had a pop at the FM over Prestwick Airport, glamorous gateway to South Ayrshire and sometime stopover for US military ops.
As ministers now own it, shouldn’t they do something about all the warmongery?
“Public ownership carries the responsibility of ensuring the proper conduct,” he fumed.
The FM tutted. Press stories about this were “bunkum”. Besides, the US had been encouraging death from Prestwick for decades. Chill out, Pat.
“This is not new,” she said. “My mother is from Prestwick and my grandparents lived in Prestwick. We used to watch the flights on a Sunday afternoon. I had an exciting childhood.”
So that’s where her lifelong attachment to zoomers started.
“Was there nothing on the telly?” shouted Ms Davidson.
“There were very few televisions in those days,” observed John Swinney. He’ll miss those fingernails.
When Tory Rachael Hamilton asked how election candidates could be protected from abuse, Nat John Mason jumped into defend the insulters.
“We must be prepared to take a certain amount of insults and robust challenge,” said the sanctimonious twit. “I have certainly had a few insults along the way.” You don’t say.
The FM agreed: “The ability to criticise and, on occasion, to insult politicians is an essential part of a healthy democracy.”
Hurrah! It was such a stirring sentiment it was immediately put into action. As Labour’s Neil Findlay made a point of order about the government’s record, SNP MSPs ignored him en masse and trooped out to lunch.
These muppets are real pros.
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