TORIES and police. They go together like breaking and entering. So it was no surprise that Ruth Davidson plunged into FMQs with a question about Scotland’s shrinking plod pool.

“A fall of 1200 officers, as has been reported, would be completely unacceptable to Conservative members. Would it be unacceptable to the First Minister, too?” she asked.

“Yes,” declared Nicola Sturgeon, briskly scything the legs from under her opponent.

“Eh, that’s great,” said Ms Davidson, utterly bereft. She never got back in the game, the FM swatting her away with a glowing report by Her Majesty’s Inspectorate of Constabulary.

Glasgow Tory MSP Annie Wells wanted more done on maintaining law and order too.

“On Tuesday, a car crashed in Springburn in an event that is now being treated as attempted murder,” she recounted.

“A few weeks ago, a man was shot and killed by a masked gunman in Maryhill Road, only a couple of hundred yards from my office. In March, a man was shot at and stabbed in a residential street in Springburn, very close to my home.”

Now, I’m no detective, but it felt like the common thread was clearly Ms Wells. Good job there aren’t as many bobbies around or she might be in trouble.

The third have-a-go Tory was cherubic health spokesman Miles Briggs who, perhaps on behalf of his boss, asked about the SNP’s baby boxes.

Experts said the cardboard nipper bins might be a bit iffy.

“Will the FM set out in full all the advice that the Government has received from experts on the safety of the boxes?”

Mr Briggs knows full well any criticism of the boxes drives the FM to mania. “What is it about the baby box that so offends the Conservatives?” she bawled. “Is it just because it is SNP policy?” Too right, cried her MSPs.

Later, her official spokesman joined in with an epic tantrum of his own, telling one reporter he was being “utterly ludicrous” on the subject. It’s worth quoting.

“We’re assuming that parents are sensible enough not to place their infant in a baby box... next to an open fire because cardboard does burn,” he said.

“We’re assuming people are sensible enough not to do that. Or place the baby in the baby box underwater or on an open motorway or something.”

Aw, the poor wee government. I think it’s just really tired.