ANOTHER week, another conspiracy - it seems the Met Office is trying to poison minds against the Celts. At least according to ever vigilant SNP MP Peter Grant. When the Great Satan published its A-Z of storm names for 2018-19 this week, he instantly scented a plot. “Any reason there are so many names of Irish, Welsh, Gaelic or Norwegian origin in this list of bad things?” he tweeted. Besides Callum, Freya, Niamh and Ross, the list also included outrageous subliminal slurs such as, er, Max, Oliver and Violet. False flags, no doubt.

LAST week’s item about hijacked websites prompted a reader to flag one linked to former SNP MP and current Kremlin-TV star Tasmina Ahmed-Sheikh. In 2012, Alex Salmond helped ‘TAS’ launch a charity/PR vehicle about Scottish Asian women. It’s now kaput but its website lives on, featuring eye-popping guff about “opening the door with magic” and working with “spell casters”. Alas, there is no sign of a spell for restoring lost dignity.

ANYONE who has met Michael Russell knows he has a first class mind. The constitutional relations secretary doesn’t hesitate to tell you for starters. But Unspun hears his mental faculties aren’t his only outstanding quality. Recent government expense reports show that in April and May the SNP’s shy genius was the only minister to travel first class on the Edinburgh-London train, doing so four times. Why? Because he’s worth it, obviously.

MORE mad goings-on in the Lanarkshire SNP. Sheena McCulloch, aide to Uddingston MSP Richard Lyle, has quit as branch organiser with a goodbye report accusing fellow members of “discord”, holding “secret” meetings, and posting “lies” on social media. “If you think this is aimed at you then you must be feeling guilty,” she wrote. “If the cap fits, wear it.” She then invited people to man a street stall with her. Who could resist such charm?

SNAPPY Sheena and Mr Lyle as part of an SNP clique dubbed the McMafia by critics. For years, MPs, MSPs, councillors and activists have hogged power in the local party. But is the end nigh? At the recent Uddingston branch AGM, McMafia officer bearers either ducked a re-election fight or lost, while rivals triumphed. Mr Lyle, meanwhile, was reduced to branch fundraiser. So sad.

PRESIDENT Trump may have to scour the White House looking for aides in the ‘resistance’, but things are more obvious in Labour. The unrepentant resistance to Jez is the Scottish operation. Press officer Andrew Liddle had a launch for his new book in London last week. The title? Ruth Davidson and the Resurgence of the Scottish Tories. The top attendee? Lord Peter Mandelson. Could it be any more Blairite?

ORANGE perjurer Tommy Sheridan hosts his latest Hope Over Fear menagerie in Glasgow today with seven hours of Indyref2 ramblings. The blurb urges all parts of the Yes movement to come together. Unlike the mysterious business behind the event, Hope Over Fear Ltd, which is run exclusively by Mr Sheridan, his wife and his mum. Donations welcome...

SNP ministers were preening themselves on their new FoI action plan this week, despite being forced into it by Scotland’s information tsar damning their rotten transparency record. A press release bragged ministers had put it online for the masses and included a link. It led to a blank page and the message “not found”. Typical.