Flat out

JAWDROPPER of the week came during votes on the Planning Bill, when Green MSP Andy Wightman raised the problem of rowdy holiday flats in Edinburgh. He cited the case of an 83-year-old lady whose home was mistaken for the pop-up orgy next door. A naked woman ran in followed by a naked man, Mr Wightman told MSPs. “They had sex in front of her in her living room. They were followed by another naked man who ran in and shouted, ‘You’re in the wrong flat!’.” It sounds like most of us were in the wrong place that night.


TV event of the week was not the BBC’s woeful Tory leadership debate, but Alex Salmond devoting his RT show to interviewing Wings Over Scotland blogger Rev Stuart Campbell. As the pair chatted in the opulent Royal Crescent Hotel in his adopted home town of Bath, Mr Campbell finally admitted his “Reverend” title is total mince. “Just a bit of fun” to help him appear in web searches, he said, after years of refusing to justify the cloying affectation.

Horrible human

IT wasn’t a complete Yesser love-in though. Eck asked The Rev if he’d been “daft” to sue Kezia Dugdale for defamation given his love of bareknuckle debate. It was because she falsely called him homophobic, he explained. “If Kezia Dugdale had written an article saying she thought I was a horrible human being, she’s perfectly entitled to hold that opinion, and I’ve no beef with that.” How’s that for a green light?

Wings Campbell

TO be fair, Rev Stu did have a few decent gags. “We have no connection the SNP,” he said. “I’ve never been in the SNP. I’ve never voted for the SNP. We have nothing to do with the SNP. Nicola Sturgeon is not responsible for me. If anyone’s responsible for me it’s probably Willie Rennie, because I’ve always been a LibDem voter.” He also said that if Scotland voted Yes he might return and start a new party. “Why not take over from Mr Rennie?” asked Eck. “Well I think somebody needs to,” deadpanned the Somerset sage.

Last orders

TALKING of Ms Dugdale, Scottish Labour’s wilted rose hasn’t quit Holyrood yet, but she did have her leaving bash on Wednesday. With the retiring Lothians MSP at war with many in her own group, none of the local Corbynite troglodytes were invited. Her opponents swiftly dubbed it “Drinks for the few, not the many”.

Work experience

IT’S not just Kez who’s moving on. Scottish Secretary David Mundell, no fan of Downing Street shoo-in Boris Johnson, hosted a whisky reception at the Royal Highland Show on Thursday. He watched very attentively as a bartender taught him how to make a Johnnie Walker peach highball. “I might be needing a new job soon,” he told Unspun. Might?? Such touching optimism.

Mystery man

SCOTTISH LABOUR’S current leader also featured at Holyrood Magazine’s summer garden party. We hear that when LibDem peer Lord Wallace mentioned Richard Leonard in his speech, a booming cry of ‘Who?’ filled the marquee. Mr Leonard, who was present, chose not to explain. There was also amusement when Nat MSP Joan McAlpine won ‘Tweet of the Year’ for a thread on sex and gender. Some folk didn’t like the content, but many others were simply bemused, as Ms McAlpine has blocked so many people they couldn’t read it.

Go forth n multiply

TORY toff Alexander Burnett got a supremely catty telling off from Derek Mackay at a recent finance committee after bringing up migration. Complaining about the UK government’s “hostile environment” policy, the Finance Secretary stressed the need for a growing working-age population. “We need to achieve that through migration. Mr Burnett is aware that the biological route would take more than a year or two.” Miaow.