LIFE in Britain has come over all Dad's Army in the last few days, hasn't it?
As the shortage of petrol at the pumps bites, we have Boris Johnson as Captain Mainwaring – the pompous, blustering figure with an overdeveloped sense of his importance – a role he seems born to play.
He's ably supported by Westminster Transport Secretary Grant Shapps as Lance Corporal Jack Jones, the part made famous by Clive Dunn.
'Don't panic, don't panic', Shapps cries, while birling around in a panic.
All the while, the chorus echo: 'We're doomed, I tell you. Doomed.'
Now, I've got a confession to make. It's not one I'm proud of but I panic-bought petrol. There, I've said it. When I heard there were shortages in England, I filled the motor up.
I was out anyway and nipped into my favourite provider of dinosaur juice. There was no queue. Well, not at that point.
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The next day, it was a different matter. Petrol stations shut, drivers filling jerry cans, cars queued out onto the roads, reports of fights in the forecourt. Tankers stuck in traffic jams caused by folk driving around trying to get petrol.
There were even stories of motorists following tankers, in the hope they could be first in the queue at whatever filling station the driver was heading towards.
So far, there's been no reports of leather-clad road warrior Mad Max haunting the wastelands and scavenging petrol from his victims but it can only be a matter of time.
The thing is, though, admitting you sallied forth to the petrol station at the first sign of trouble is social suicide. Facebook and Twitter are full of people decrying those who are queuing up for fuel. They are posting pictures of people filling jerry cans, branding them morons. Which they might be – or they might be buying it to use at their work, in generators or chain saws or 100 other uses.
It's all very well taking the moral high ground but you'll be the one lugging your messages back from the supermarket by foot if you don't have any petrol for your car.
I have to admit, I did feel bad when I read care workers and nurses were struggling to find diesel but if I hadn’t bought it, someone else would.
That's the thing, Britain has been turned into an individualist, selfish society in the last 40 years – or perhaps it always was – where if you don't grab something before everyone else, it will be whipped away from you.
Politicians (mostly Tory but Labour too) have created a Me First society. They can't pretend to be shocked when the population decide to put themselves first.
Can you imagine any of the Tory cabinet deciding to act ethically and share resources equitably? Johnson? Patel? The millionaire money man Sunak? It seems unlikely.
It's all very well the UK Government telling us not to panic – that they are in charge of the situation – but people just don't believe them
We're doomed, I tell you. Doomed.
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