IT might be nice if Boris Johnson saved us all a lot of time and just built an effigy with the words ‘Scottish Democracy’ hung around its neck, set it up in his garden at Number 10 and burned it to the ground.

Or perhaps, he could write the words ‘Scottish Democracy’ on his toilet? That would work.

Johnson’s latest insult has been to appoint Malcolm Offord, a failed Tory candidate at Holyrood - and a millionaire who’s also a major Conservative donor - to the House of Lord so he can become a Scotland Office minister.

There’s so much wrong in that sentence it’s hard not to see the move as some sort of Old Etonian notion of trolling. ‘What a wheeze! What larks and japes!’ Johnson must think. ‘This’ll get those uppity Jocks in a tizzy alright.’ It’s a wonder the Prime Minister doesn’t come round and make each of us butter his toast, or give the nation a collective dead arm for daring to look at him sideways.

Johnson thinks of democracy in general, and Scottish democracy in particular, the way vampires think of peasants - something to be drained for his own uses and tossed aside.


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