Curriculum Oh Aye?

A DISMAL week for Scottish Tory leader Douglas Ross as key aides quit and a new hire was unhired for embellishing his CV. Tory MSPs were livid after Mr Ross named Craig Paterson as head of research, then had to ditch him again almost immediately. Unspun hears Mr Paterson was extremely convincing in his interviews, speaking at length about having worked for two years for Scottish Labour loser Jim Murphy. It was complete tosh, yet Mr Ross missed the obvious clue. Who on earth would boast about working for Jim Murphy?

Milky wean
WHEN Nat Fulton MacGregor became MSP for Coatbridge & Chryston in 2016 he was known by all as ‘No Show’. Despite vowing to be a “strong voice” for the locals, he kept failing to prove it by missing his hustings. Perhaps his vocal chords were too delicate? We hear the only drink he gets himself at the Holyrood cafe is a Babyccino, a toddler tipple of warm milk and cocoa. He has inevitably been renamed No Brew. 

Rent asunder
JUST before the royal recess, Nicola Sturgeon was sure about the big news in her legislative programme. A six-month rent freeze to help tenants was “perhaps the most significant announcement that I will make today”. It left landlords furious about the loss of income. Curiously, however, the SNP's press release failed to mention it. Mind you, the MSP providing the party line was Falkirk East’s Michelle Thomson, an avid landlord, whose  three houses and two flats bring in up to £25,000 a year. Rents which, like her smile, are now frozen. 

Hat’s enough
RAISED eyebrows last week at Green co-leader Lorna Slater attending the Queen’s memorial service at St Giles in a belter of a hat that looked like a giant black beanie. This was just before she was due to meet King Charles at Holyrood. By huge coincidence,  parly officials suddenly issued a memo advising MSPs not to wear hats, sparing the monarch an eyeful. Phew!

By George
SNP minister for parliamentary business George Adam isn’t shy about being gallus. On Tuesday, the Paisley MSP reckoned he had even dazzled Douglas Ross into a tizzy. “I think that Mr Ross was getting too excited at my two minutes, Presiding Officer,” he quipped before moving the final motion of the day. “Who would not be, Mr Adam?” deadpanned deputy PO Liam McArthur. Mr Adam could only agree.

Little people
ONE of George’s hobbies is winding up his Tory opposite number. Until this week that was shouty Stephen Kerr, but after a mini-reshuffle it's now the comically posh Alexander Burnett. His family has its own journal, the Burnett Banner, full of titbits for the Burnett diaspora. In one issue, a fellow aristo sneered Holyrood was "known as the Pygmy Parliament… it has never captured the imagination of Scots. Indeed, the parties in London only ever field their no 2 or 3 teams”. Alexander later shamed the clan by getting himself elected as the MSP for Aberdeenshire West. Surely George wouldn’t use that against him?

Being Frank
IF he did, perhaps Mr Burnett could return fire by using an interview in this week's Holyrood magazine with SNP MSP Tom Arthur. Asked for his go-to karaoke song, the musically gifted minister replied: “I’m a massive Sinatra fan. I’d go for New York, New York. George Adam, whose constituency is next to mine, is also a big Sinatra fan so we see ourselves as Frank and Dean, but I’m not sure who is who.” So let’s hear them both sing, of course!