A fond farewell

SO farewell then Ian Blackford. He’s leaving his position as SNP Westminster leader to take up some vague undefined role as “business ambassador” for the independence campaign. It’s extremely bad news for fanfiction writer RiseTheHorizon who has come up with some utterly eye-melting erotic stories about the Ross, Skye and Lochaber MP on the AO3 website. We can’t go in to too much detail in a family newspaper, but let’s say the action takes place in petrol station and it’s not just unleaded that’s getting pumped.

Silent protest

FRESH from his “wild” and “provocative” rant at last week’s post-FMQs media briefing, hacks were eagerly anticipating the FM’s spokesperson’s performance on Thursday. But one government official suggested the briefing should be conducted in tribute to the German football team – with hands placed over their mouths. A vow of silence may not have gone down well with the press pack but disaster was averted with FMQs being one of the dullest of the year.

In the driving seat

DECISION time at Holyrood is not a spectators’ sport. Points of order raised by MSPs flapping about with technology usually outlast the vote itself. But Tory MSP Craig Hoy was desperate to make sure his vote on Tuesday counted correctly. As the Scottish Tory chairman gave his point of order remotely, clearly audible is a car indicator. At least he had pulled his car over to address the presiding officer.

Losing streak

LIBDEMS has-been Willie Rennie had the chance to become relevant again at The Herald’s Politician of the Year awards last week. The shouty former party leader was up for the Donald Dewar debater of the year. As the nominations were announced, Unspun’s mole heard a loud cheer go up. It was Mr Rennie, arms extended, giving himself a big whey hey. Well, someone has to. Unfortunately he and his party were unsuccessful, something Mr Rennie is all too familiar with. A loss of a photo opp.

Plugging the brand

HAIR gel supremo Sandesh Gulhane had more luck than Mr Rennie – scooping the prize for best e-politician. The doctor secured victory with his podcast ‘Gulhane on Politics’ which sees the Tory health spokesperson adopt an alter-ego as a broadcaster. Despite taking the high road and telling the audience his lofty party pal Edward Mountain should have won, he quickly took the opportunity to plug his gig by telling his peers to ‘like and subscribe’. Always thinking of his podcast, eh? Given party bosses reportedly have scolded Dr Gulhane for peering down the camera in the Holyrood chamber, sticking to audio is perhps a wise move.

Making a point

TRYING and failing to make a political stunt at the awards was the SNP’s Joanna Cherry. The out-of-favour MP, who couldn’t hide her joy at her Westminster boss quitting this week, turned up for the black tie event wearing a t-shirt supporting the LGB Alliance. One colleague sat at her table at the do told our mole they ‘hadn’t even noticed the t-shirt’, which we suspect would not impress Ms Cherry. The MP lost her award for ‘best Scot at Westminster’ to her favourite colleague Stewart McDonald so the audience was spared a speech.