Her on wheels

BBC Scotland’s Nicola Sturgeon podcast has been putting out more episodes about the former First Minister and her woes. One recent one included a jaw-dropper from her old pal Shona Robison, who offered a suggestion about what Ms Sturgeon should do after leaving Bute House. “I’ve got a motorhome,” said the new deputy FM, “and I was going to suggest to her a sort of Thelma and Louise roadtrip”. You mean they’ve all got motorhomes?! 

Cherry wry

TALKING of podcasts, cancelled chatterbox Joanna Cherry popped up on Holyrood Choices on Wednesday. JC, an MP and KC, had a right go at the SNP. “Intellectually dead from the neck up,” she sniffed. As opposed to brainless from the neck down. “People forget that the SNP was founded in the 1930s by intellectuals, artists, poets, thinkers, former diplomats like Compton Mackenzie - people with a rich hinterland,” she lamented. As Ms Cherry backed (checks notes) independence thermometer-toting Ash Regan for SNP leader, she clearly also puts a high value on irony. 

Harvie train

WHEN Humza Yousaf floated a new wealth tax at this week’s summit on tackling poverty, he said a junior minister in his government (salary £99,516) counted as wealthy. That wealth is supposed to reflect their intense workload. So imagine Unspun’s surprise to learn Green minister Patrick Harvie has told officials he will only consider papers before 9pm. While under “weekend working”, his ministerial preference sheet states grumpily: “If necessary.” 

No Colin

FORMER SNP treasurer Colin Beattie, who was arrested and released without charge last month by cops poring over the party’s finances, is still refusing to answer media questions after being nobbled by SNP spindoctors. Chased the length of Holyrood by reporters, he grimly replied “no comment” to every question. “Is that the same answer you gave to the police?” asked one exasperated hack. To which Mr Beattie inevitably replied: “No comment.” 

Total pile of fish 

DESPERATE times for Mr Yousaf’s spokesman in the post-FMQs press briefing, where he was grilled about plans to ban fishing off 10 per cent of Scotland. The backlash from coastal and island communities has been off the, er, fish scale. “We recognise there are very strong feelings on this issue, we’re not deaf to that,” the spokesman whimpered. “The cabinet secretary herself represents a rural constituency, she’s very well aware of these issues.” Up to a point, mate. Mairi McAllan represents the decidedly landlocked seat of Clydesdale.

Salty Rides Again?

THE colourful SNP group on North Lanarkshire Council had yet another meltdown this week, with expulsions and suspensions galore. What timing! The party is currently scrabbling to find a candidate for the Bellshill byelection caused by former council leader Jordan Linden quitting over multiple sexual misconduct complaints. Who can save the day? Amazingly, there’s local talk of a comeback for former MSP Richard Lyle, known at Holyrood as Salty Dick for once claiming a poke of chips on expenses. His other claim to fame is that he mentored Linden and helped him get ahead in politics. Well, if he broke it, maybe he should fix it?