Blame the heat. Blame the humidity. Blame the way recent dramas have left everyone at Holyrood supernaturally exhausted. But FMQs was weirdly low-key.

The last day of term is supposed to be a bloodbath. You’re meant to cower behind your umbrella as the party leaders slash and gouge and try to ruin one another’s summers. 

The object is to hit the perfect sour note, leaving your opponent stranded without a comeback and murderously cheesed off. Basically, it’s fun for all the family.

Douglas Ross ignored this golden rule.

To avoid becoming a target himself, the Scottish Tory leader played it safe and went on an NHS scandal.

Labour’s Anas Sarwar followed suit and went on Scotland’s long-lost Covid inquiry.

That’s “an incredibly important issue”, said Humza Yousaf.

The First Minister says that about most things, however, so excitement was there none.

“Could you please stop having conversations across the aisles,” Presiding Officer Alison Johnstone told thumb-twiddling MSPs. “It makes it very difficult to hear.” Lucky her.

Liberal Democrat Alex Cole-Hamilton made an impassioned plea about “reinforced autoclaved aerated concrete”.

One of those 1960s wonder materials that is now inevitably falling to bits, it was putting the roofs, walls and floors of schools and hospitals at risk, he said.

“A light and bubbly material. If you think of the inside of an Aero bar, you’ll get the idea.”

Well no wonder it’s wonky, everyone thought. Surprised it didn’t melt years ago.

“I am not trying to frighten people,” continued Mr Cole-Hamilton, slipping on a clown mask. “But it could cost tens or hundreds of millions of pounds to fix it.”

After another dry spell (“Can I have a question please, Ms Lennon?”), colour and disorder were restored when Tory Meghan Gallacher asked about education cuts.

Mr Yousaf, inspired, said it was the UK Government’s fault.

“Rubbish!” bellowed Tory Stephen Kerr, a loud baggy man made of meat scraps.

“I ask Stephen Kerr to please resist any temptation to contribute, particularly when the contribution is not necessarily courteous,” said Ms Johnstone, her patience unravelling.

Finally, Green Maggie Chapman tried to ask about the UK Government’s Rwandan asylum seeker policy, but Ms Johnstone leapt to shut it down.

The parliament’s standing orders say FMQs is about Scottish Government matters.

“I am not entirely clear that that question met the requirement… that concludes FMQs.”

Given all sorts of random rubbish makes the cut, SNP MSPs were incensed, the PO goggled, a delighted Mr Kerr slapped a paw on his desk, and cries of “shame” rang out.

It was the perfect sour note to annoy everyone before recess. Tune in again September 7.