I’M not keen on religion. Just being inside a church freaks me out.

I do love Jesus. That guy was brilliant, but I’m not having that he was the son of God because I don’t believe there is a god. Or a Jesus. But he’s a smashing idea. It’s a real shame so many of his followers don’t live the way that kindly Palestinian carpenter instructed.

At a funeral recently, I arrived early and was hanging about and, as you do, flicked through pamphlets that reminded people what was good and evil.

During the service, I found myself looking around at family and friends, and they all seemed engrossed in what was being said from the pulpit by a man quoting a 2000-year-old book.

“Do you lot really believe in all of this?” I asked. “Can’t you see it’s utterly made up, that we would all do better if we worked together now rather than hope an invisible pixie in the sky is giving you a good mark in the man-by-mans?

Can someone explain the big gaps in the story? Or explain why, if you read that book, there is stuff in there that really is plain silly? That man living in a big fish story is your starter for 10.

And I said: “Why has religion been used as a force for so many wars? Religion makes people hate, it makes them kill, it persuades them to cover up child abuse. It takes money from poor people.”

I finished the rant by pleading for them not to live their lives by ancient fairy tales, but to live in the present and listen to a lot more indie music from the 1990s.

I didn’t do any of that, of course. I kept my mouth shut, stood up and sat down a few times, and escaped as soon as I could.

To say anything out loud in such a public place would have hurt my family, who I love and respect.

It’s what you do. You bite your tongue so you don’t offend those closest to you, and no decent person would wish to act so disgracefully. Well, unless they’re at a football game.

Bad behaviour, coin-throwing, firework-chucking and flare-lighting are all back in fashion. As is dressing in dark clothes, partially covered. Songs which were almost extinct have returned. Repulsive chants flags and banners are heard and seen far more regularly these days compared to a few years back.

They support different teams but all look the same. White, male, roughly aged 16-30, some are older. All have a sense of entitlement that what they say and do is right, and everyone else is wrong.

It’s just like religion. Convince yourself that the message from your own lot is the one truth and then stand on moral high ground waiting for the non-believers to be drowned in a biblical flood.

All washed down with tonic wine and cocaine, a potent mix. The drug issue at away games involving Celtic and Rangers, and some others, is concerning. Coked-up drunks are not fun at the best of times, never mind when they’re in a crowd of like-minded souls.

Remembrance Sunday is this weekend which, over the past 15 years or so, has gone from a day of silent reflection, for those wanting to do that, to being hijacked (to an extent) by those who love telling people what to think.

Remembrance Sunday, for most of us, is about the two world wars. Most of us didn’t fight in them but we all know enough to take a moment or two one day a year to think about it all.

If that’s not for you, and there are numerous arguments against this symbol (some of which I agree with), I have no issue with that at all.For example, I fully support Stoke’s James McClean’s stance on not wearing a poppy. But what I can’t tolerate is any Celtic supporters at Livingston this Sunday making a noise, singing a song, shouting about the IRA (and they have been getting a lot of mentions lately), booing, hissing or acting like a ned during the minute’s silence.

Every year it’s the same. Every year one group believes they are speaking for every Celtic fan. Let me assure them that they are not. Have strong views on it by all means but keep them to yourself. If you don’t, if you act like immature attention-seekers, then you will embarrass and hurt the Celtic family. And why would you want to do that?