DONALD Trump. Remember him? Course you do… Burly, big-mouthed bloke with blond hair (Or at least somebody somewhere at sometime had blond hair before Donald managed to grab hold of it, then plonked it on his own bonce).

As you may recall, back in the Dark Ages Mr Trump was President of the USA. Though now Joe Biden has installed his slippers, jimjams and sleeping cap in the Oval Office, ready for his own dynamic presidency.

Yet Mr Trump continues to dispute the election, now claiming Venezuela somehow robbed him of victory.

Reader Brian Wadham isn’t persuaded. “Saying the Venezuelans stole his election shows Trump’s reaching the end of the alphabet,” says Brian. “Now all he’s got left to blame are werewolves, yetis and zombies.”

Nou hijinks

THE death of former Dundee United football manager Jim McLean robs the game of a famous figure, masterful motivator and canny tactician. The Diary recalls his team’s 1987 victory over Barcelona at the Nou Camp, which allowed the Tangerines to reach the UEFA Cup semi-final.

In a post-match interview John Clark, who scored for United, regretted the team could only drink a few beers afterwards as they had “a big game against Rangers on the Saturday”.

McLean’s United. They lived hard, they played hard. Only the winning looked easy.

Talking balls

McLEAN understood Scottish football better than most, although the jury’s still out about comedian Jo Caulfield’s kickyball knowledge.

Jo reveals: “Got my husband a new Glasgow Celtic jumper. He’s furious. Says he wanted a Glasgow Rangers jumper. What’s the problem? It’s ALL Glasgow, isn’t it?”

Defending her fatal footy faux pax, Jo says she’s a genuine student of the game: “I’ve seen Escape To Victory. I know all about soccer.”

Boxing day blues

MOST of the Christmas shenanigans are shegoneagain, though reader David Donaldson argues that because certain regulations came into force this December 26, the day should forever onwards be called Boxed-In Day.

Slick slaw

Gary: Tank Commander star Greg McHugh made too much coleslaw over the festive period. Luckily, he has a crafty plan. “I’ve frozen it, and my ‘ice coleslawllies’ will be ready soon,” he salivates.

Mind your language

AN elderly chap who used to work with reader Gordon Wright came out with all sorts of muddled malapropisms, and once said: “I had that appointment at the infirmary yesterday. I was asked to strip off in a cuticle.”

High times

OUR readers are devising New Year resolutions. “I want to go skydiving before I die,” says Tam Smith. “Though not RIGHT before I die.”