WE'VE all been there. That moment when we go and spill the inkwell for our antique fountain pen all over the royal visitor's book. Poor old King Charles, it was the second such calligraphic catastrophe to befall the new monarch in about as many days. First he couldn't find an attendant fleet-footed enough to clear the desk at his first meeting of the Privy Council in London on Saturday. Now this downer in Co Down in midweek. It's no wonder he parted with 100 or so of his Clarence House staff this week.
Well, we might scratch our heads and wonder why the King got so grumpy about the ink mishap; some sympathetic onlookers will say you can't get the service these days, others will say it's a symptom of his advancing years, and some will call foul on a sense of entitlement from a lifetime as an elite. Maybe next time he should just try using the humble ballpoint.
Now, I know what you're thinking: maybe it's time I got to the bleeding point. Perhaps, like His Majesty, you bear your teeth at the pooch, shove the newspaper in theirs and gesture for them to tear it up on the back yard – at your behest for once.
Well, I will get to the point, if you'll let me. And yes, it's a ball point – a football point. For, whenever Chas calms down, perhaps he could spare a thought for Giovanni van Bronckhorst, the embattled Rangers manager, who blotted his own copybook for the third time in quick succession this week.
Van Bronckhorst's strikers will no doubt sympathise with the you-can't-get-a-decent-service-these-days line. Zero goals in their last three matches against Celtic, Ajax and Napoli tells its own story.
The shipping of 11 goals during that sequence should have alarm bells ringing around the Ibrox corridors, too. While James Sands, the United States midfielder, has been commended for filling in at centre-back with Connor Goldson, the cracks in that particular chink of armour have been prodded and poked to great effect by Celtic, Ajax and Napoli. Sands was sent off on Tuesday night after mistiming a challenge inside the penalty area and it proved costly for the home side.
As legendary Rangers manager Walter Smith used to say, you're only two defeats away from a crisis at the Govan club. Well that's three trouncings on the trot.
For those who point to the King's vintage to account for his grumpy behaviour, the diminished performances of Steven Davis, the 37-year-old Northern Ireland legend, at the heart of the Ibrox midfield may feel vindicated in their assessments. However, that is to overlook one of the few bright sparks in the last three matches for Rangers: the performance of Allan McGregor against Napoli on Tuesday night. The former Scotland internationalist, 40, saved the penalty conceded by Sands and made a string of other fine stops to keep the scoreline relatively palatable for the 50,000 supporters inside the Govan ground.
These are both potential marks against the man in charge of selecting the team, however. Van Bronckhorst decided to put his chips behind Jon McLaughlin at the start of the season, and only selected McGregor for the Champions League clash on account of an injury to his No.1. Davis, meanwhile, ploughed on in midfield to little creative effect.
It is a worrying sign of decline in the spine of the team. Van Bronckhorst's first match as manager saw his new side defeat Sparta Prague last November to reach the knockout rounds in Europe's second club competition. His run thereafter to Seville and ultimately defeat in the final of the competition against Eintracht Frankfurt gave his reign an added sheen, despite his side relinquishing their hold on the Premiership crown in the process. Two men central to that Europa roller-coaster were dynamic defender Calvin Bassey and creative forward Joe Aribo, who have both moved on to Ajax and Southampton respectively. And Rangers' decision to sell off the crown jewels has appeared to have backfired thus far.
Of the seven players Van Bronckhorst was able to bring in to strengthen his squad during the summer transfer window, none were included in the starting XI to face Napoli.
And, in the first half in particular, it was his side's best performance in several weeks.
Is that Van Bronckhorst's fault? Well, this is where those who point to a sense of entitlement come in. As Smith was all-too aware, success is the only real barometer at Rangers.
It is hard to see how Van Bronckhorst will survive anything other than a convincing Premiership win tomorrow against Dundee United, a club that ousted its own manager, Jack Ross, on the back of heavy defeats in Europe and to Celtic already this season.
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