Hello and welcome to the sixth annual Alternative Scottish Football Awards.
This year's edition appears on a professional news website, which means certain standards apply that did not necessarily apply to last year's edition. Essentially, that means there's less swearing and you need to look on Twitter for the Douglas Ross bits.
Several important questions will be answered at this ceremony. What ritual does Tam McManus allegedly perform before intercourse? What expression did Arbroath introduce to Scottish football's lexicon? Why are Rangers supposedly being held back by politically correct ball boys?
Traditional categories such as 'The Rugby Pugby Award For Best Typo', 'Most Partick Thistle Moment' and 'The Dundee But It's A Dundee United Badge Award For Most Sky Sports Sky Sports Moment' remain, while this year's new categories include 'Best Ambassador For Scottish Football' 'The Craig Levein Specky Hotdog Award For Best Eyewear' and 'Least Effective Abuse Directed At A Player'.
Expect explicit language, adult themes and Kingsley.
BEST PHOTO
WINNER:
Arguably the best picture ever taken at a football match. 📸 ⚽️
— Elgin City F.C. (@ElginCityFC) July 24, 2022
We would love to know the name of this supporter so he can get some free refreshments at our next match 😂 🥧 pic.twitter.com/01oAzPo5CQ
HONOURABLE MENTION:
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/fteef2utsJ
— Black & White Army (@bawarmy) September 20, 2022
BEST CELEBRATION
WINNER:
📸😆 This Aberdeen fan looks like he enjoyed the 2-1 win over Motherwell today pic.twitter.com/VRLJnSzbDf
— SNS Group (@snsgroup) October 22, 2022
HONOURABLE MENTION:
Darvel fans chucking blowup sheep about after scoring into Aberdeen hahahahahaha
— Stoby (@stoby_mcgrubler) January 23, 2023
Scottish football is unmatched #ScottishCup pic.twitter.com/ItsKp1UjMg
The message is clear from Scottish football fans pic.twitter.com/NlJDzvfFU5
— Oldfirmfacts (@Oldfirmfacts1) January 28, 2023
READ MORE: Football fans would donate to charity but they're busy taking drugs
THE ‘RUGBY PUGBY’ AWARD FOR BEST TYPO
WINNER: Dundee
HONOURABLE MENTION: Subtitles
According to the subtitles at least, the expanded #SPFLTrustTrophy draw sounds more like a recipe @AirdrieoniansFC @AlloaAthleticFC @spfl #fitba pic.twitter.com/xtWcIByOOk
— Derek Young (@MrDegsy) August 29, 2022
HONOURABLE MENTION: Ally McCoist
Ally McCoist drops Rangers clanger as uber excited legend labels goal hero 'Scott Arsefield'https://t.co/gRBE2UP9U6 pic.twitter.com/dUUkEqpyXV
— Daily Record Sport (@Record_Sport) October 12, 2022
THE ‘SMELL MY BOUFFING FRIDGE MONTROSE’ AWARD FOR OUTSTANDING POST FROM AN OFFICIAL CLUB SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNT
WINNER: St Mirren
Today Mr Charles Dunne (@C_Dunne3) stood before a jury of his peers.
— St Mirren FC (@saintmirrenfc) January 17, 2023
The jury has reached it's verdict... pic.twitter.com/JjzCEhb47D
HONOURABLE MENTION: Dundee
Win the title, wait for your neighbours to go down, immediately rub their noses in it. Lovely stuff. https://t.co/gCAlytWpln
— JH (@iamhighlystrung) May 28, 2023
HONOURABLE MENTION: Raith Rovers
✍️ Dick extension.
— Raith Rovers Football Club (@RaithRovers) May 16, 2023
We’re delighted to announce Liam Dick has renewed his contract for another year, keeping him at the club until June 2024.
Liam’s strong defending and versatility has been vital in his 80 appearances for the club, scoring four goals.#YouBelong pic.twitter.com/Mo0lX8VfCf
HONOURABLE MENTION: Clyde
We have arrived in Peterhead. Team news to follow at 2pm pic.twitter.com/zmSOtL5XN7
— Clyde FC (@ClydeFC) April 22, 2023
— Clyde FC (@ClydeFC) August 6, 2022
HONOURABLE MENTION: Orkney, who have failed to specify exactly how physical you're allowed to be with the referee before it becomes 'too physical'
38- Penalty to Loch Ness
— Orkney FC (@OrkneyFC) August 20, 2022
🟥 John Pickles sent off for being too physical with the referee @NorthCaleyFA @bbcorkney @BBCSportsound @BBCSportScot
HONOURABLE MENTION: Montrose
11’ The Queen of the South manager, Willie Gibson, goes into the book for inferring that the referee is a clown. 0-0 #MOLIVE
— Montrose FC (@MontroseFC) August 6, 2022
HONOURABLE MENTION: Livingston
HONOURABLE MENTION: Hibs
Footy anthems… 🎶👀
— Hibernian Football Club (@HibernianFC) September 7, 2022
📲 https://t.co/s1oGsQFHmq pic.twitter.com/TBuWXxIYBl
HONOURABLE MENTION: Cowdenbeath
Ben Spelman of @GretnaFC2008 is shown a red card after the final whistle before entering the stand to square up to the home fans.
— Cowdenbeath FC (@CowdenbeathFC) September 3, 2022
HONOURABLE MENTION: Stirling Albion
MOST ILL-ADVISED HASHTAG
WINNER: #UnitedInPursuit
🚨Dundee United booed back onto the pitch 🚨
— Joel Sked (@sked21) May 24, 2023
DUNDEE UNITED REACTION pic.twitter.com/pKCDNC6XNf
— Oldfirmfacts (@Oldfirmfacts1) August 5, 2022
THE FOUR-ARMED HIBS FAN AWARD
WINNER: Six-fingered James Tavernier
Is that 6 fingers?! pic.twitter.com/o0OTtPD236
— Lubosleftpeg (@Lubosleftpeg1) July 15, 2022
THE KINGSLEY EVERY YEAR AWARD FOR BEST MASCOT
WINNER: Kingsley
What a hit son pic.twitter.com/jDxUQ3TMef
— Crug (@CMcclurkin13) December 17, 2022
HONOURABLE MENTION: Sammy The Tammy
Brilliant to see a bit of a wind up from the mascot. Don’t see enough of it these days 😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/DNPSPyTQUi
— Gordon Cook (@GordonCook23) March 7, 2023
HONOURABLE MENTION: Smokie Joe
HONOURABLE MENTION: Captain Conker
THE 'IMPROVISE. ADAPT. OVERCOME' AWARD
WINNER:
When ye don’t have a scarf for you’ll never walk alone 😂😂💚☘️ pic.twitter.com/F197CbEsC7
— Paul Gallagher (@PaulGall67) July 31, 2022
HONOURABLE MENTION:
Here we go again pic.twitter.com/Wm1Nf3IheW
— Brian Robertson (@BrianRo40564175) January 14, 2023
HONOURABLE MENTION:
Love this - after Thistle’s game was called off, @BlairMcNally1 & co decided to take their bus to Carlisle instead. Brilliant. https://t.co/WYlYviy8FY
— Mozza | Derek 🏴 (@MozzaPlays) January 14, 2023
HONOURABLE MENTION:
Lino’s forgot his moulders at the Arbroath Cove game @Oldfirmfacts1 pic.twitter.com/6vcb2f34qa
— Jack (@JackPlomer24) November 12, 2022
HONOURABLE MENTION: 
HONOURABLE MENTION: 
BEST CELEBRATION OF AN ANDY CONSIDINE MILESTONE
WINNER: 
HONOURABLE MENTION: 
MOST EMBARRASSING BALL BOY MOMENT
WINNER: Woke ball boys
— Ange baw (@Angeba11) November 3, 2022
HONOURABLE MENTION: Volunteer ball boys
Club officials here at Queens Park currently going around younger fans asking if they want to be a ball boy as the club forgot to coordinate with the youth teams so have no ball boys for today. Pure cinch. @Oldfirmfacts1
— 🇧🇪 Thomas 🏴 (@Thomasmxp1876) January 2, 2023
HONOURABLE MENTION: Hide and seek ball boy
😂"Wee game of hide and seek... That's Scottish football for you - marvellous!"
— Sky Sports Scotland (@ScotlandSky) March 18, 2023
Ally McCoist enjoys some off-pitch entertainment. pic.twitter.com/Sx9porCdV3
THE CONOR SAMMON PIZZA BOX AWARD FOR MOST UNDERWHELMING PRIZE
WINNER: Bobby Linn Fray Bentos
THE DUNDEE BUT IT’S A DUNDEE UNITED BADGE AWARD FOR MOST SKY SPORTS SKY SPORTS MOMENT
WINNER: Hibs playing Rangers and Celtic simultaneously
HONOURABLE MENTION: 
HONOURABLE MENTION:
Tough Saturday for Livi next week according to Sky. pic.twitter.com/k3tehkA2X9
— Andrew Ross (@ArabRossy) October 16, 2022
HONOURABLE MENTION: 
HONOURABLE MENTION: 
HONOURABLE MENTION: 
HONOURABLE MENTION:
“How were we to know the cup that has Viaplay on its ribbons was the Viaplay cup?” - Sky pic.twitter.com/Nmv4Rh5RCd
— Oldfirmfacts (@Oldfirmfacts1) February 3, 2023
HONOURABLE MENTION: 
HONOURABLE MENTION: 
HONOURABLE MENTION: 
HONOURABLE MENTION:
THE SPIRIT OF SKY SPORTS AWARD
WINNER: Futbol24
HONOURABLE MENTION: St Johnstone
Someone too lazy to remove the cove badge before adding the Annan one on top of it?😂 https://t.co/RZAnosYlGV
— Jack Wilson (@jackwilson14499) July 12, 2022
HONOURABLE MENTION: Livingston
HONOURABLE MENTION: BT Sport
HONOURABLE MENTION: BT Sport
Good see @ArbroathFC above Watford and Sunderland....... @btsport 🤦♂️ pic.twitter.com/J1ijTsS3sW
— Stewart (@Chalk8283) April 8, 2023
HONOURABLE MENTION: LiveScore
Live Score trying to step on Sky Sports turf and take the crown @Oldfirmfacts1 pic.twitter.com/nwpFxzHce2
— Jack (@Jamag92) January 28, 2023
MOST INTIMIDATING TACTIC
WINNER: Kilmarnock
That’s one way to psych out the opposition… slap them on the head with a goalie glove 🤔😂😂 pic.twitter.com/xCo6p0bCp0
— One Team in Ayrshire (@OneTeamAyrshire) October 18, 2022
BEST AMBASSADOR FOR SCOTTISH FOOTBALL
WINNER:
— Fesshole 🧻 (@fesshole) November 30, 2022
HONOURABLE MENTION:
When a blondie heavy Hearts of Midlothian fan storms into your transfer window live hit and wants to show to whole Italy her pride against Hibernians from the bottom of her heart.
— Tancredi Palmeri (@tancredipalmeri) January 27, 2023
I’d say from the bottom of her boobs pic.twitter.com/GitIo2zwoJ
BEST HEADLINE
WINNER: 
HONOURABLE MENTION:
🔺 EXCLUSIVE: Rangers FC have dismissed claims that an allegedly fraudulent bid to recruit investors in the club was accidentally leaked by the singer Darius Campbell shortly before his mysterious death https://t.co/O7pydyR8nA
— The Times and The Sunday Times Scotland (@timesscotland) September 6, 2022
HONOURABLE MENTION:
Kemar Roofe in desperate Rangers return bid as he visits world specialist to fill Michael Beale's 'big hole'https://t.co/YEnr7KPSHl pic.twitter.com/vuvOU8Jmws
— Daily Record Sport (@Record_Sport) May 3, 2023
HONOURABLE MENTION:
Celtic teammates don't seem to rate Tony Ralston pic.twitter.com/qOqPvspnQ2
— Bruce Russell (@BruceRussell86) July 17, 2022
READ MORE: Create your own 'Rangers will show Celtic next time' headline
MOST EFFECTIVE TOUCHLINE BAN
WINNER: Aberdeen
No sure how Aberdeen will cope with their manager being banned from the touch line tonight.
— McNicoll (@TheBoyMcNicoll) November 4, 2022
I just cannae see how he's gonna be able to get his point across to his players. 🤷🏻♂️ pic.twitter.com/JXaxOgu4ri
HONOURABLE MENTION: Hurlford
— Largs Thistle F.C. (@LargsThistleFC) November 12, 2022
BEST VANTAGE POINT FOR A DUNDEE GAME
WINNER: 
HONOURABLE MENTION:
Boy standing in a radom garden having a cracking time pic.twitter.com/7wnYbLahnJ
— Dens Park (C)hoir 🇨🇷 (@DensParkChoir) January 6, 2023
GOAL OF THE SEASON
WINNER: Scott Tiffoney
Partick Thistle equalise against Rangers with one of the most bizarre goals in Scottish Cup history pic.twitter.com/mdSV0tYUQZ
— The Herald (@heraldscotland) February 12, 2023
HONOURABLE MENTION: Stevie May
How not to play out from the back 😬
— BBC Sport (@BBCSport) February 19, 2023
Over to you Dundee United...
(🎥 @BBCSportScot)#BBCFootball pic.twitter.com/wlk3gnqerc
HONOURABLE MENTION: Jack McMillan
Oh my god pic.twitter.com/91VV1tqv0h
— Rhys Jenkins (@rtjenky) August 7, 2022
HONOURABLE MENTION: Jamie Sneddon
🧤⚽ The moment we all want to watch again!
— Partick Thistle FC (@PartickThistle) December 3, 2022
🙌 @jamiesneddon1 pic.twitter.com/UAexkd5aJK
HONOURABLE MENTION: Kyle Lafferty
Tough one to watch
— Heart of Midlothian Supporters 🇱🇻 (@heartsfc74) October 9, 2022
Absolute howler from Craig Gordon 😑 pic.twitter.com/8neNWl9Xey
HONOURABLE MENTION: Charlie Mulgrew
— Cameron (@Camer0nJohnson) July 16, 2022
HONOURABLE MENTION: David Turnbull
David Turnbull vs Rangers (H)
— Aidan (@Aidan_csc) May 7, 2023
The icing on the cake, lovely pass from McLaughlin to Turnbull for an easy finish for 4. Some day. pic.twitter.com/MhcthR0dIs
HONOURABLE MENTION: Josip Juranović
Josip Juranovic with an utterly pointless own goal in the #Celtic v #Motherwell game yesterday #Bhoys #OG pic.twitter.com/GEOBSP9Ht1
— The Own Goal Zone (@OwnGoalZone) October 2, 2022
GREATEST CONSECUTIVE TWEET COMBINATION
WINNER: Dundee
LEAST PLAYABLE SURFACE
WINNER:
I think it's off, lads. https://t.co/5qgaQcJIow
— Мichael Watson (@Watson2711) January 20, 2023
HONOURABLE MENTION: 
THE CRAIG LEVEIN SPECKY HOTDOG AWARD FOR BEST EYEWEAR
WINNER: John Young
HONOURABLE MENTION: Neil Lennon
WORST CHARADES PLAYER
WINNER: Euan Anderson
Euan Anderson’s inability to draw the Var air box thingy bothers me far more than it should https://t.co/YmvSkzyCwS
— Andy Newport (@AndyNewportDR) April 14, 2023
THE SHILTON TEARS AWARD
WINNER:
— Barry Anderson (@BarryAnderson_) July 23, 2022
The legendary Diego Maradona was born on this day in 1960.
— The Herald (@heraldscotland) October 30, 2022
His famous 'Head of God' against England remains one of football's most iconic headed goals.https://t.co/JWBVjx2coj pic.twitter.com/Bx8rYJzaQU
BEST CHANT
WINNER: Kilmarnock
#killie fans singing ‘Liz Truss, she’s one of your own..’ to st mirren fans 😂😂😂😂
— Donnie Murdo (@davy_bee_) October 15, 2022
A shameful moment for Scottish football. No matter how heated things get, we simply should not be censoring insults directed at Douglas Ross. https://t.co/73jIA662ra
— Oldfirmfacts (@Oldfirmfacts1) October 22, 2022
THE SHANE DUFFY BRAIDING DIEGO LAXALT’S HAIR AWARD FOR BEST PHONE-IN CALLER
WINNER: 'Initials'
😂”INITIALS”😂 pic.twitter.com/vStFlFIwiO
— Bun Beag Brian (@BunbegB) September 4, 2022
HONOURABLE MENTION: 'Walloper'
⚽️ Here’s a 12 year old Aberdeen fan on @northsound1 with his thoughts on the big game this weekend.
— Ewen Cameron (@EwenDCameron) May 19, 2023
😂👏🏼😂👏🏼😂👏🏼😂👏🏼😂👏🏼😂#Hearts #Aberdeen #Walloper pic.twitter.com/euw00Dx3Mr
THE DICK CAMPBELL AWARD
WINNER: Dick Campbell
Arbroath get their second red card on the night this time for manager Dick Campbell.
— BBC Sport Scotland (@BBCSportScot) March 3, 2023
He seems incensed at first but still has time for a laugh with some of the Accies fans in the stand 😂#BBCFootball pic.twitter.com/FXf9pBUE3n
LEAST AMOUNT OF THOUGHT PUT INTO SHIRT NUMBERS
WINNER: Dundee
Tuck your number into your shorts man
— Ryan Cruickshanks (@RyanC03) July 13, 2022
HONOURABLE MENTION: Hibs
You did not just give someone with the name rudi a 5-1 shirt 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
— 💚˜”*°•𝒮𝒽𝒶𝓇𝓇𝑜𝓃 𝐹𝑜𝓇𝒹 •°*”˜💚 (@MsFord1875) July 14, 2022
THE ‘SORRY CELTIC’ AWARD FOR BEST RESPONSE
WINNER: 
HONOURABLE MENTION:
HONOURABLE MENTION:
HONOURABLE MENTION:
Hahahahaha how about you upgrade yours, gimps pic.twitter.com/cLvR6NNnFh
— Carly (@Cxrly__) October 25, 2022
HONOURABLE MENTION:
— Abbie (@AbbieMcD01) June 24, 2022
HONOURABLE MENTION:
HONOURABLE MENTION:
“Dominant”
— Livingston Football Club (@LiviFCOfficial) August 7, 2022
🥴 https://t.co/x5aRMHFEfn pic.twitter.com/5Tk5xuXf0G
HONOURABLE MENTION: 
Ian McCall blasts 'tinpot' Ayr United tweet as Partick Thistle angered by 'diddy' social media movehttps://t.co/XGd6ecIExy
— Glasgow Live Sport (@GlLiveSport) October 29, 2022
THE ALBANIAN PRESIDENT RUNNING AROUND A BEACH SHOUTING ‘HAIL HAIL’ AWARD FOR BEST CAMEO
WINNER: Tom Hanks
[TIMELINE] BBC Scotland's Sportscene has also been curtailed. But there is commentary there at least.
— Clean Feed @ The TV Room (@cleanfeed_ttvr) March 11, 2023
Though it looks like BBC Scotland Playout inadvertently opted back to network briefly, where the film Sully was going out. pic.twitter.com/8SE0spfiGX
Tom Hanks meets Scotland midfielder John McGinn
— The Herald (@heraldscotland) February 18, 2023
PIC: @astonvilla pic.twitter.com/kR9nItaZcL
HONOURABLE MENTION: Senator Clay Davis from The Wire
Sheeeeeeeee-it! I’m just hoping #ElonMusk will keep Twitter going long enough for me to see how many goals @StenhousemuirFC put past Bonnyrigg Rose on Saturday.
— Isiah Whitlock Jr. (@IsiahWhitlockJr) November 19, 2022
Amsterdam Hamsterdam
— Oldfirmfacts (@Oldfirmfacts1) September 7, 2022
🤝
No-one dealing with corners pic.twitter.com/HTH9HIAjrG
HONOURABLE MENTION: Bonnyrigg shoe
https://t.co/PpNEaWgcy7 pic.twitter.com/mqqIHEvwXe
— Ben McAdam (@BSMMedia14) August 27, 2022
HONOURABLE MENTION: 'This f***in' dug"
Enjoy a grown man heckling a dog at Hurlford United v Pollok this weekend. pic.twitter.com/mkIxMOVJ6B
— Andrew Maclean (@AndrewMaclean_) February 5, 2023
Not saying Celtic are comfortable but Postecoglou just made this substitution pic.twitter.com/UkZtfq1hbx
— Oldfirmfacts (@Oldfirmfacts1) August 28, 2022
FAIREST APPROACH TO SELECTING A FREE-KICK TAKER
WINNER: St Johnstone
Just St Johnstone's Cammy MacPherson and Graham Carey deciding who would take the free-kick with a game of rock, paper, scissors...😂 pic.twitter.com/mHTz2dYAB2
— Soccer AM (@SoccerAM) February 6, 2023
LEAST EFFECTIVE ABUSE DIRECTED AT PLAYER
WINNER: "Oi Tavernier, go join your brother at Musselburgh, eh, Middlesbrough even...you ken what ah mean, shut up"
Everything about this is unreal hahaha pic.twitter.com/Dg0ja9ecFC
— Chris⛵️️ (@tophwatson) May 21, 2023
LEAST JUSTIFIABLE RED CARD
WINNER:
— Andrew Maclean (@AndrewMaclean_) March 4, 2023
MOST JUSTIFIABLE RED CARD
WINNER: Max Stryjek
📸 Livingston's Max Stryjek is sent off for a foul on Austin Samuels of Inverness CT. #PremierSportsCup pic.twitter.com/FtjJovoohG
— SNS Group (@snsgroup) July 12, 2022
I’ve written a guide to all 32 teams at the Qatar World Cup, as we near the moment fans and 6,500 migrant workers have been dying forhttps://t.co/fNwfJMZjdp
— Oldfirmfacts (@Oldfirmfacts1) November 18, 2022
THE PETER HARTLEY AT A TINY PIANO AWARD FOR BEST TRANSFER CONFIRMATION VIDEO
WINNER: Kyle Vassell, Kilmarnock
Welcome to the Killie, Kyle Vassell 🤝
— Kilmarnock FC (@KilmarnockFC) January 1, 2023
➡️ https://t.co/Rt5QUQqFjq https://t.co/aZ8ywb7waA pic.twitter.com/WUjWSpgwSp
HONOURABLE MENTION: John Gemmell, Dumbarton
— Dumbarton FC (@Dumbartonfc) August 19, 2022
THE VAR AWARD FOR MOST CONTROVERSIAL PEN
WINNER: Aiden McGeady
🎅SCOTTISH FOOTBALL PATTER CALENDAR 2022🎅
— Oldfirmfacts (@Oldfirmfacts1) December 2, 2022
Day 2 - McGeady pen pic.twitter.com/eD2Ox27NW6
HONOURABLE MENTION: Joe Hart
Mates went for a pint after the game before going to the motor n by time he left the pub he’s walked out past the stadium n Joe Hart is driving out n he’s took a permy marker off a wee guy n got him to sign his head😂😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/Gp6T0NNtbo
— Lewiscarey (@Lewiscareyy) January 7, 2023
THE LANA WOLF AWARD FOR MOST SOLEMN SHOW OF RESPECT
WINNER:
Iconic pic.twitter.com/7yKVmoTW84
— Karen (@Karen31_x) May 6, 2023
HONOURABLE MENTION:
It's what she would have wanted.#SadnessInHisEyes pic.twitter.com/uyHiZPSEaI
— Paul4Jags (@Paul4Jags) September 17, 2022
BEST LOOKALIKE
WINNER: Dundee United Maradona
What the fucks Maradona doing at Dundee pic.twitter.com/fpaQlgfK7R
— Jake Reddicen (@JReddicen) August 30, 2022
HONOURABLE MENTION: Dundee United Mike Ehrmantraut
HONOURABLE MENTION: Rylan/Craig Gordon
HONOURABLE MENTION: Jim Goodwin/Jim Goodwin
Excellent to see future Jim Goodwin taking a video of past Jim Goodwin's demise at full time to look back on with other multiverse Jim Goodwin's @Oldfirmfacts1 pic.twitter.com/dgdJg8g0aM
— CMOnTheRocks (@CMontheRocks) January 23, 2023
“You’re getting a full and frank meeting with the football monitoring board in the morning, full and frank meeting with the football monitoring board in the moooooorning” pic.twitter.com/JGXHO82qv7
— Oldfirmfacts (@Oldfirmfacts1) January 25, 2023
HONOURABLE MENTION: Rod Stewart/Uma Thurman
Kill Bill (2003) Kill Bill 3 (2023) pic.twitter.com/LIVo4TJ1WO
— Oldfirmfacts (@Oldfirmfacts1) March 7, 2023
HONOURABLE MENTION: Davie Martindale/Hasbulla
HONOURABLE MENTION: Harry McKirdy/toilet brush
— Patrick McPartlin (@p_mcpartlin) November 12, 2022
BIGGEST WASTE OF MONEY
WINNER: Forfar season ticket
Fair to say this Forfar fan wasn’t best pleased with Dunfermline’s third goal in last nights pre season friendly 😂#preseasoncinch pic.twitter.com/72LtbyDaTW
— David Buick (@DBuick22) June 29, 2022
MOST PARTICK THISTLE MOMENT
WINNER:
Partick Thistle fans are obviously your target demographic. At the football tonight and someone along from me is dipping into your poems at halftime. pic.twitter.com/3cpPrrhaVp
— Paul4Jags (@Paul4Jags) July 19, 2022
HONOURABLE MENTION: 
Strong message from Partick Thistle fans today pic.twitter.com/mrNgi5W6wo
— Oldfirmfacts (@Oldfirmfacts1) February 12, 2023
HONOURABLE MENTION:
Sometimes it's that sorta Sunday. pic.twitter.com/bC009YICz7
— Partick Thistle FC (@PartickThistle) August 7, 2022
HONOURABLE MENTION:
So Patrick Thistle beating Dundee at Dens Park is fairly standard in recent years 😎… but it’s not everyday you see and hear a young Jags fan using his shoe as a whistle. pic.twitter.com/sNFYZFVMvS
— Erik Geddes (@erikgeddes) July 30, 2022
THE HIBS 2016 AWARD FOR BEST PITCH INVASION
WINNER: Hibs
What about that footwork fae the hibs fan
— Lewis (@Lewismac1875) August 8, 2022
READ MORE: Zander Murray and the 10 Scots of the Year
BEST BANNER
WINNER: Pollok
MOST MEMORABLE INSULT
WINNER:
Craig Wighton getting BALD shouted at him mid-interview is incredible. His reaction is even better 😂 pic.twitter.com/63DsBS6eYq
— Pars Review (@ParsReview) May 21, 2023
HONOURABLE MENTION:
Motherwell fans have now unfurled a flag with the words 'Westlife are Pish"
— The Sligo Way Podcast (@SligoWayPod) July 28, 2022
Chilling...
HONOURABLE MENTION: 'Tam McManus folds his clothes before sex'
“Folds his clothes before sex” https://t.co/YsV1TRcX5A
— Conor 🇱🇻 (@conor_1874) October 13, 2022
HONOURABLE MENTION:
BEST ‘NOT WHAT WE WANT TO SEE’ THAT ACTUALLY IS VERY MUCH WHAT WE WANT TO SEE
WINNER:
Howling at this guy 😭🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/o1t7x2Krn5
— Chloe Reilly (@ChloeReilly21) March 11, 2023
HONOURABLE MENTION:
— Liam Buchanan (@liam_buchanan9) March 18, 2023
THE NEIL LENNON'S SNUS AWARD
WINNER: Ian McCall
Ian McCall on the popers pic.twitter.com/sH75LaZudF
— Steven watson🇱🇻 (@hamtarts) October 7, 2022
THE SPIRIT OF THE BANTER YEARS AWARD
WINNER: 
Rangers fan told football isn't a religion as judge brands it a lifestyle choice https://t.co/YSLHb8hdPj
— jamie robertson (@pinkjockalypse) September 10, 2022
HONOURABLE MENTION:
Rangers remove Liverpool 7-1 souvenir photo after fan backlash https://t.co/6JOVVMntQt
— Glasgow Times Football (@GT_Football_) November 15, 2022
“Ally, can Rangers build on that in the second half?” pic.twitter.com/twp2mYF56E
— Oldfirmfacts (@Oldfirmfacts1) October 12, 2022
HONOURABLE MENTION: 
3 weird and wacky Rangers AGM moments as punter rants about the SNP https://t.co/1bvtGHSnbZ
— Herald Sport (@Herald_Sport_) December 6, 2022
HONOURABLE MENTION:
What's going on here then 🤔 pic.twitter.com/Xk7NnMGUgI
— Luckybhoy (@Possil_bhoy) January 3, 2023
HONOURABLE MENTION:
Phew… Too many Big Eck’s On The Beach last night 🥴 pic.twitter.com/k6Jq8ZjwvD
— lewis 🦥 (@yeuropeanson) October 22, 2022
HONOURABLE MENTION:
New Rangers Castore away shirt sold to fans with defunct 'Sportemon Go' sponsorshiphttps://t.co/HHA59aC2yY
— Herald Sport (@Herald_Sport_) July 22, 2022
HONOURABLE MENTION:
THE 'IF I ASKED YOU TO GUESS WHO SAID THIS YOU'D PROBABLY GUESS KIRK BROADFOOT' AWARD
WINNER: Kirk Broadfoot
BEST COMMENTARY
WINNER: Arbroath
"jeezy peeps" pic.twitter.com/bugr5Q2TBj
— Football Burp ⚽ (@FootballBurp) January 11, 2023
Twitter v Andy Walker, from episode 42 of the Old Firm Facts podcast pic.twitter.com/3zm6BMxCdq
— Oldfirmfacts (@Oldfirmfacts1) August 14, 2022
THE CELTIC DA AWARD
WINNER:
“Watching Glasgow Celtic!” pic.twitter.com/N7m6LZzuR7
— Bun Beag Brian (@BunbegB) September 4, 2022
HONOURABLE MENTION:
— Oldfirmfacts (@Oldfirmfacts1) August 25, 2022
BOTTOM: subject of the blog pic.twitter.com/iWHupRrmQ1
HONOURABLE MENTION:
MOST UNFORTUNATE LIVE BROADCASTING MOMENT
WINNER:
— Keir Dollard (@KeirDollard) January 6, 2023
HONOURABLE MENTION: Off the boil? 🤷♂️
James McFadden and Neil McCann really didn't help Steven Thompson get through his trail on last night's Sportscene... 🤣#BBCFootball pic.twitter.com/zHGkGIEVJu
— BBC Sport Scotland (@BBCSportScot) January 8, 2023
HONOURABLE MENTION:
They are ra peepul pic.twitter.com/OQfjvSNlUi
— Seán (@Sean_FTB) November 28, 2022
BEST PENALTY
WINNER:
Backspin - a goalkeeper's worst enemy in a penalty shootout 👀#PremierSportsCup | @FalkirkFC pic.twitter.com/ImY0C1UTAc
— SPFL (@spfl) July 11, 2022
THE ‘WELCOME TO THE THEATRE OF PIES’ AWARD FOR BEST DELICACY
WINNER: Nairn County
HONOURABLE MENTION: Aberdeen
Burger at Aberdeen FC (@AberdeenFC)
— Footy Scran (@FootyScran) July 15, 2022
💷 £5 pic.twitter.com/z5PNTXnoBz
HONOURABLE MENTION: Celtic
Pizza at Celtic (@CelticFC)
— Footy Scran (@FootyScran) October 2, 2022
💷 £6.70 pic.twitter.com/F0CbEWdUOq
HONOURABLE MENTION: Rangers
I’m glad Rangers went to such an effort to sort out the catering in the summer. Today’s steak pie with nothing in the middle was a treat. pic.twitter.com/Nq3kzhnIqL
— Garry Carmody (@GarryCarmody) October 8, 2022
LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT FOR SERVICES TO SCOTTISH FOOTBALL PATTER
WINNER: Alfredo Morelos
If fans spend an evening calling you a fat bastard, you’re entitled to take the piss out of them when you score.
— Oldfirmfacts (@Oldfirmfacts1) February 2, 2023
Wrote about Morelos, the Celebration Police and why anyone who has an issue with players winding up fans should lighten uphttps://t.co/WP2uNL2L9a pic.twitter.com/eVLSDQ5KHs
Thank you for attending the 2022/23 Alternative Scottish Football Awards. Please pick up your complimentary Dundee FC tangerines, courtesy of Sky Sports.
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