Amid controversy regarding this Saturday's Scottish Cup Final kicking off at 5.30pm, Adam Miller takes a not-entirely-serious look through the SFA's eyes...


This Saturday is the Scottish Cup Final. Celtic and Inverness Caledonian Thistle face each other in the calendar’s biggest showcase fixture. 

It’s a chance for the world to see Scottish football at its finest. When 3pm comes arou…sorry…FA Cup Final?

The Herald:

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As I was saying, when 5.30pm comes around, we at the SFA will have a chance to show just what Scottish football means to us. 

In saying that, United v City is too close to call. Obviously City are the stronger team, but with the Champions League Final coming up they might be distracted. Ten Hag’s got United looking disciplined, and it wouldn’t be a shock if they went 90 minutes without conceding. 

Please note that, in the event of extra time and penalties at the FA Cup Final, the Scottish Cup Final will be pushed back to around 7ish. 

Possibly half past if that suits, depending on how good the punditry is. Ian Wright's always good value. 

Let’s aim for half seven, and see how we’re feeling. Might need a toilet break before kick off if it goes to pens at Wembley. 

Are we watching the trophy presentation? Eh, I’m not watching 90 minutes and potentially half an hour of extra time plus penalties just to change channels the minute it’s over. That’s not how football works, and this is the Scottish FOOTBALL Association after all. 

Make it eight, just to be safe. 

Actually, Twitter will be on fire, so we'll need at least half an hour to scroll through the memes. Shall we say half eight for 8.45?

The Herald:

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Just thinking, a few of the boys are coming round for the City game, which means a few cans knowing that lot! We’ll probably need a disco nap before the trophy presentation. Quick shower and a freshen up. Half 9?

'Complete lack of consideration for Inverness Caledonian Thistle fans'?

Eh, there’s a Caley Uni in Glasgow, so Caley Thistle can’t be far away. If they can’t fit on a train I doubt it’ll be more than a tenner for an Uber, including tip. 

Ah, bollocks. I said to the missus I’d take her to Strictly live at the King’s Theatre if she let me watch the FA Cup Final. 

How’s Sunday? Fine? Fine. Sunday it is.

Ooh, Napoli v Sampdoria. Tasty. 

Please note that the 2023 Scottish Cup Final has been postponed until further notice. 

Yours Patriotically, 

The Scottish Football Association

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