Produced in association with Perth Theatre, Ben Tagoe's A Play, A Pie and A Pint offering is billed as "Trainspotting meets The Steamie".

It isn't. Instead it's a pedestrian rehash of the EastEnders storyline in which Dot Cotton made Nick go cold turkey by locking him in his room – only with much less pathos, insight and quality writing. An under-rehearsed cast of Anne Kidd, Barrie Hunter and Scott Kyle, didn't help matters.

But then, Oscar-winning performances couldn't lift this pointless and tepid tale of addiction, which goes nowhere slowly, until arriving at the implausible conclusion that all you need to beat a smack habit is a sick granny to make you face up to your responsibilities.

Sorry, life – and especially the life of a junkie – just doesn't work this way.

Tony (Scott Kyle) is a junkie not averse to dipping his grandmother's purse for money for a fix when he goes visiting.

Meanwhile, Nana (Anne Kidd) spends her time watching daytime TV and fretting over Tony's wellbeing and wishing he'd get off "the muck".

In desperation she takes him hostage in her home to try and make him go cold turkey.

Her doctor (Barrie Hunter) then puts in an appearance, Tony finds out that his granny is ill and vows to try and kick his habit, fairy tale style. And that, really, is that.

The tone is that of a wry comedy, but the one-liners come across as forced, and the play's entire raison d'etre seems to be to point out the fact that addiction impacts on more than just the user. But surely we know that already.

Sponsored by Heineken.

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