GORDON Buchanan is the nicest man in Scotland. No, I’m taking no arguments, madam. Haud that wheesht, sir. Never mind the big lump at the breakfast table of whom you are quite fond sometimes, or the son who makes your heart thump with pride. Would either of them travel half-way round the world to swim with creatures they found terrifying, as Gordy did in Tribes, Predators and Me: Shark People of the South Pacific (BBC Two, Thursday, 9pm)? They would? Well, now you’re just showing off.

The Scottish cameraman has gained a reputation for cuddling up to scary creatures, but this time, in the first of a new three part series, he looked to have bitten off more than a peckish lion can chew. As a member of what he called “the Jaws generation”, those who grew up on Spielberg’s seaside chiller, Buchanan only had to glimpse a fin and his tummy flipped. But the people of Owarigi Island are made of sterner stuff. They have to be. If they don’t swim with sharks they can’t fish; and if they can’t fish they don’t eat. Simple.

Gordy was a terrible hunter-gatherer, on one occasion explaining his failure to catch anything on the fish looking too pretty to kill. See how nice he is? He also shouted, “Oh ya bandit!”, instead of a fruitier phrase, when a rod injured his hand. Eventually he came good, and was allowed to swim with the scary fishes. Reader, he fell in love instantly, pausing only to tell the viewer how 100 million of these magnificent creatures are massacred every year to make soup. “Thank you sharks,” said Gordy politely. When his trip was over, every one of the islanders lined up to say cheerio.

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Diana and I (BBC Two, Monday, 9pm) attracted plenty of tears, not least from those viewers who did not think it possible that yet another programme could be wrung from the subject of the Princess of Wales’s death 20 years ago. But here we were again, with four stories linked to the events of 31 August, 1997: the son who lost his mother on the same day, the struggling Glaswegian florist who saw a chance to make a mint, the downtrodden wife whose pride was reawakened, the ambitious journalist feasting on the story. It was achingly familiar stuff, made more irritating by Tamsin Greig playing the Scots florist complete with a fingernails down a blackboard accent. One can only assume the casting took place on one of those Halley’s Comet kind of days when no Scots actresses were anywhere to be found on the planet. I like Tamsin Greig, but if she was a Glaswegian carnation snipper then I’m a fish supper.

Back (Channel 4, Wednesday, 10pm) hove into view for the first time. A new comedy starring Robert Webb and David Mitchell, it’s about two estranged brothers, one of them fostered. Webb plays Andrew, a smug chancer strolling into the life of Mitchell’s uptight, sarky rule-abider and causing havoc. Any resemblance to the pair’s Peep Show personas is entirely fortuitous. There’s something familiar, too, about the highly amusing, and very sweary, script. Hailing from Simon “The Thick of It” Blackwell, it’s the kind of comedy even Malcolm Tucker might find not too shabby.

All chums together drama Cold Feet (STV, Friday, 9pm) heeded the winning formula lesson when it returned last year after a 13-year break. Now the gang is back, again, and still not much has changed. Twinkly Adam (James Nesbitt) remains twinkly (the hair’s holding up too), lugubrious Pete (John Thomson) is feeling down, grumpy Jen (Fay Ripley) is dissatisfied, etc. Something has to happen, however (it’s in the drama rule book, duh) and my money is on smoothie chops David (Robert Bathurst) becoming the Prime Minister of Great Britain. Or maybe Jen will get a new hairdo. Either way, Cold Feet is well on its way to becoming the televisual equivalent of old slippers, a joy to slip into on a Friday night.

DA DA DA DA DA DA DAH …..DA DA DA DAH DUM! Yes, the mummy and daddy of all returns takes place tonight when Strictly sashays back for series number 15. The heat is on new head judge Shirley Ballas to fill the dancing pumps of Len Goodman. No pressure, Ms Ballas, but if you want to see what fate has in store should you fail, watch Len Goodman’s Partners in Rhyme (BBC One, Saturday, 6.25pm).

Featuring a mix of Z-list celebs and punters saying what they see, Partners in Rhyme makes Catchphrase look like a Mensa quiz. “If you think you know, give it a go” is one of Len’s many attempts at a catchprase. As his old mucker Craig Revel Horwood might say, “Oh Len, we gave you a ten, for your fabulous dancing on tap; now you’ve turned up, on this new quiz, and we think it’s a pile of ….” Keep watching!