W. D. Cocker’s darkly humorous retelling of the Old Testament story of the Flood continues. The Ark is built. The neighbours, thinking rain would be “guid for the neeps,” have no inkling of the imminent catastrophe. . .

        THE DELUGE (continued)

Then Noah wi’ a’ his ain folk,

An’ the beasts an’ the birds got aboard;

An’ they steekit the door o’ the ark,

An’ they lippened theirsels to the Lord.

~

Then doun cam’ a lashin’ o’ rain,

Like the wattest wat day in Lochaber;

The hailstones like plunkers cam’ stot,

And the fields turned to glaur, an’ syne glabber.

~

An’ the burns a’ cam’ doun in a spate,

An’ the rivers ran clean ower the haughs,

An’ the brigs were a’ soopit awa’,

An what had been dubs becam’ lochs.

~

Then the folk were sair pitten aboot,

An’ they cried, as the weather got waur:

‘Oh! Lord, we ken fine we ha’e sinn’d

But a joke can be cairried ower faur!’

~

Then they chapp’d at the ark’s muckle door,

To speer gin douce Noah had room;

But Noah ne’er heedit their cries,

He said:’This’ll learn ye to soom.’

~

An’ the river roar’d loudly an’ deep;

An’ the miller was droon’t in the mill;

An’ the watter spread ower a’ the land,

An’ the shepherd was droon’t on the hill.

~

But Noah, an’ a’ his ain folk,

Kep’ safe frae the fate o’ ill men,

Till the ark, when the flood had gi’en ower,

Cam’ dunt on the tap o’ a ben.

~

An’ the waters row’d back to the seas,

An’ the seas settled doun and were calm.

An’ Noah replenished the earth –

But they’re sayin’ he took a guid dram!

to soom=to swim