Fiona Duff is helping promote the Outsider, Scotland's "coolest new festival", on Midsummer weekend, June 22-24, at Rothiemurchus, Cairngorms. One of the organisers, she tells me, was trying to explain to a member of the public the ethos behind the event. In festival terms this one will be relatively small, and as well as great bands there will also be mountain bike trials, a 12k run, environmental debate and the food will be as organic and free range as possible. Realising that the audience will be healthier and wealthier than at other summer festivals, the caller suddenly clicked. "Ah," she said, "you mean it will be like peppermint tea in the park."

Blowing in the wind JUDGING by the response to our Sanda story, it seems Diary readers can't get enough island stories. So here's one Alasdair MacKellar told me about an old man in his home village of Bunessan on Mull. Hughie, for that was his name, used to have an outdoor toilet made from the wheelhouse of his old fishing boat. It was duly christened the Wheelhouse. After one particularly bad storm Hughie arose to find that the wheelhouse had been blown away. A period of mourning duly ensued in the village and much sympathy was offered for his loss. But Hughie took it in his stride. "Och, well, it could have been worse. I could have been at the wheel at the time."

Talk Talk THE Big Votepod debates (with Lesley Riddoch), as reported in The Herald on Friday, have bands as warm-ups. Mike Ritchie suggests the following should be considered for certain debates: Big Wellbeing Debate - The Cure; Big Green Debate - Ocean Colour Scene; Big Energy Debate - Electric Light Orchestra; Big Cairngorm Debate - Ozark Mountain Daredevils; Big Neighbourhood Debate - The Streets; and the Big Skills Debate - Men At Work.

Star turn MEL Brookes is the marketing manager for City Building, one of the biggest employers in Glasgow with a workforce of 2200. Obviously a busy woman. She has been organising a trip to Holyrood for employees of RSBi (Royal Strathclyde Blindcraft industries) for an awards ceremony with Health Minister Andy Kerr.

She had to register the names of everyone in the party for security reasons. Her list included photographer Lewis Segal, but instead of registering him as Lewis she registered him as Steven. First time Holyrood has had the names of two Hollywood giants on the guest list.

Lights, camera, pension WE have had more suggestions about what the new Indy movie should be called . . . Indiana Jones and the Readers of the People's Friend, says Jim McCrudden, while Alison Reaich goes for Indiana Jones and the Zimmer of Hope.

Ouch THE things that sensible men allow womenfolk to do to them in the name of charity continues to amaze. Bob Dakers, at Clark Contracts in Paisley, volunteered to let the girls at the firm loose with wax strips on his chest if they could raise £1000 for Comic Relief. They did, and he took it like a man - it was all for a good cause, after all. What he didn't know was that Steve Clark, com-pany chairman, wrote a cheque for the full amount as soon as he heard about Bob's pledge. What is it they say about letting no good deed go unpunished?

No place like hame TRADITIONAL jokes that only work in Scotland, part 967. William Haddow tells how a customer in a baker's shop pointed to an item in the display and asked: "Is that a cake or a meringue?" Came the reply: "Naw, yer right - it's a cake."