When I was a child, my aunt used to tell me stories about her late father, my maternal grandfather.
I WILL be candid with you here: I am the most chronically incompetent person I have ever met.
There used to be a popular saying in Russia many years ago: "the car is not a luxury, but a means of transportation".
LAST week's row over the Smith Commission reforms was pure political satire.
THERE were plenty of words in the letter written by James Blunt to shadow culture secretary Chris Bryant that probably should have been axed before it made it out to the public.
IN one, obvious sense the outcry over the gestation of Sir John Chilcot's Iraq inquiry report is pointless.
As I piloted her nibs' tatty VW north after five days and nights in London, through increasingly hostile conditions culminating in 60mph crosswinds that buffeted the car hither and thither throughout the length of the branch-strewn M74, little did I know worse lay ahead.
"Who's that?" daughter number one asks me.
As a teenager I received an invitation to a party that had the strange word BYOB printed at the bottom.
GOTCHA, said The Sun, as Nicole, 22, from Bournemouth, smiled broadly and tilted her nipples perkily upwards at all those no-fun, nannyish feminists who'd thought they might have won the ear of Rupert Murdoch, David Dinsmore et al.
The current legal aid system is not working.
HAVING got used to the wonderful acronym Evel, English Votes for English Laws, we may in the not too far-off future have to become accustomed to Svel, Scottish Votes for English Laws.
NEVER had David Cameron down as a Burns man.
IT was the most expensive item on the Euro 2012 budget.
The Scottish Budget offers a clear and tangible test of how the Scottish Government plans to secure the benefits of a low carbon economy.