THEY have been researching our ancestry.
They, the scientists and historians. We, the Scots. You may have read earlier this year about Ian Kinnaird, a 72-year-old from Halkirk, who discovered his genetic ancestry traces back to an African lineage that means he is a direct descendant of the first woman, and the "grandson of Eve".
His DNA test was part of a larger study of Scottish people's DNA by James Wilson, a geneticist, and the historian Alistair Moffat, who was talking about the scheme at the Edinburgh International Book Festival. Far from being the melting pot of Scots, Celtic, Viking and Irish we had once thought, modern Scottish folk are also from West African, Arabian, south-east Asian and Siberian descent with a pinch of Berber ancestry and a twist of DNA from Roman-period Illyria.
I was interested to read that Royal Stewart DNA was confirmed in 15% of male participants with the Stewart surname, making them direct descendents of the Stewart kings. Those are nae bad odds.
Mr Moffat believes all this could change the way we think about Scotland's history and that is all very interesting. What struck me most, however, were his remarks about porridge.
Porridge, he said, "is absolutely crucial to our history". DNA shows young men from Germany rocked up on these shores bringing with them crops that could be turned into porridge and fed to children. The super-food meant bairns spent less time suckling, increasing the mums' fertility and prompting a population explosion. It could be we are where we are today because we were getting our oats. Your granny, force-feeding you grey, lumpen stuff, is now backed up by science.
I have had a look at the health benefits of porridge. It is a boost to your sex life. I do not want to think about that in close proximity to a sentence about my granny.
Oats can boost libido by re-balancing testosterone and oestrogen. Oats neutralise acidity levels in the body, helping with a hangover. They help calm the nervous system and reduce the craving for nicotine. They contain avenanthramides, which help stop heart disease. Oats help cut childhood obesity, according to a study from New York's Columbia University.
Sounds like a daily bowl of the stuff should be mandatory in modern Scotland. It can't do any harm.
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