GIVE me sunshine.
Give Scotland sunshine. Its lack is killing us, or at least making us fat and unhealthy, according to new scientific research.
I think, instinctively, we all knew that. I never used to rate sunshine much. I liked the look of it, but rarely the feel, unless in moderation.
Why must the sun be so hot? Can it not just calm down for a wee bit and keep the heid, instead of roasting non-stop? It must be like an oven up there.
However, while heat gives me the heebie-jeebies, even I've become aware latterly that these comforting and homely grey skies aren't good for us.
Without necessarily succumbing to the delusion that skies were bluer in childhood, I am convinced the situation has been getting worse.
Recent years have been marked by rotten summers and decent autumns. Over the piece, I believe the lack of sun is taking its toll, so that even I am pining for the feeling of warmth on my face.
The latest research was carried out on mice, and so is a fat lot of use, but it purports to show that exposure to sunlight slowed weight gain and the development of diabetes in the controversial rodents.
I'm not quite clear how that works in mice. In humans, it's pretty obvious. One is more inclined to eat a salad than a steak pie supper in hot weather.
Conversely, the damp, grey, sleety, squally conditions over Scotia Minor tempt the gourmet to the chippie, or whatever other source of comfort food bloats your boat.
The odd thing is that, when you see on television people with Scottish names, and of obvious Caledonian descent, in sunny spots like California, they still look peely-wally and ill.
Genetically, we're unused to the sun. In evolutionary terms, it may be too late for us. All the sun does is burn us and make us otherwise uncomfortable.
However, there's no doubt that the sun cheers. The only parts of the Scottish football season that are remotely enjoyable are the start and end, when it is played in sunshine or at least in less rain than usual. In between these markers, it's a miserable experience.
The Norwegians, who have everything better than us, including sunnier summers and crisper winters, play their footer in summer.
They're not exactly a laugh a minute either. But they're healthier than we are.
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