HAPPILY will I wing it on most subjects – the eurozone, the meaning of life, Katie Price's newest boobs – but the topic of dads is something I am wholly ignorant of, having never been at close quarters with one.

Father's Day usually passes me by because it's something I have no need to be concerned by. This year, however, it's struck me how little fanfare there is ahead of Father's Day in comparison with Mother's Day. Not only are dads much maligned in pomp and celebration circumstance but, for a novice like myself taking an educational look at the greetings card shelves so see what can be gleaned about dads, the message is grim. Most cards depict the dad as lazy, beer-swilling, golfor football-obsessed and useless at both childcare and DIY. Poor old dads.

And yet... and yet people buy these cards because the marketing companies have convinced society that to fail to do so means you don't love your dad. It's a clever con but one I think should be extended.

Last week I wrote about how much I hate shopping and received a bit of a hard time about it. It turns out people like shopping. People like shopping and people like other people. They also respond well to guilt. You hear the grumbles with all the manufactured holidays: Valentine's Day – load of rubbish. Mother's Day – unnecessary schmaltz.

But people keep buying. Let's kickstart the UK economy with a series of fake holidays, sending people zooming to the high street. It worked in the Simpsons when they invented Love Day.

Facebook Friend's Day: this would encourage people to have non-electronic human exchange and urge people to cut their online acquaintances to a meaningful number. Would you send a card to that person? No? Delete.

Non-Brides Day: For the woman in your life who won't get married yet who has forked out thousands for other women. We get a gift list and we can force you to come on holiday with us.

Whanau Day: Whanau is a Maori term for extended family and close family friends. One holiday: presents for everyone. You may think it too similar to that other famous holiday, Christmas, but the greetings card companies disagree.

Libraries Day: Libraries aren't part of the family but should be. Your local authority would not try to shut down your mother. It will not be able to shut your local library.

YOU can almost sympathise. If you were in charge of a public body and could make arbitrary changes then you'd be tempted, eh? SPT wants to ban photography on the Subway because it can. Sorry, because of "prevention of terrorism" and because it can. If the bye-law is introduced you could be fined £1000 for one wee snap. A consultation into the decision ended yesterday but, it was heartening to see, protests happened, even for so small a thing.

Such a ban is pretty much unenforcable given how many phones come with cameras. Plus, our wee little shoogly Subway is fairly unique and it would be sad if tourists couldn't take photographs on it like on the London Underground or the New York Subway. Most importantly, though, it is important that public bodies can't just change things without real reasoning behind their decisions.

Let's hope SPT sees sense. I mean, what's the Subway's glamorous new makeover for if not to be ready for its close up?

SPEAKING of insignificant, ILA, the Government body awarding funding for part-time courses for those earning under £22,000 a year, is to change its grant policy from July 1. It will no longer give funding for anyone with a degree or college qualifications. Basically, you've had your learning. No more education for you. Possibly only a small number of people will be affected and cost cutting measures are understandable in the current climate.

But it seems a very odd message for a government committed to life-long learning to send.