WHAT exactly is it you do at court, my old mum said to me the other day.

Are you one of those hangers on? Ha ha. Given she has just come off a marathon session of Judge John Deed I presume she means those solicitors who hang around the court table in England instructing barristers. They're not really hanging about. And England's law for jury trials is totally different than ours. Here in Scotland solicitors all on their own-ey-o conduct jury trials in cases where the accused can receive up to five years in prison. Having just finished the second of two almost back-to-back jury trials I'll can tell you not hanging-on has it's moments. Usually when the words "call the first witness" are announced - meaning the slippery piece of social mechanics involved in getting everything in place is over - sending the hairs on the back of your neck bolting for cover. They're tricky things jury trials. Not just for the accused. Sometimes the giant game show fist operated by some judges comes whumping out and catches the lawyer square in the chops. Ow. And when the music stops playing at the end of evidence? Get out your seat, turn to find yourself staring down the barrel of 15 tense jurors who have been listening to you and others for days, but you probably haven't looked at. Take a deep breath. It actually doesn't mean anything that that man's leaning back, that woman's looking away, some are shifting in their seats. It's just one of those awkward social moments. Concentrate. Try and make the whole case jig to a 20 minute speech that the person in the dock's whole future may hang on. Despite all that? If you ask me? The jury trial isn't always the hardest gig. Or most complicated. That's often taking place downstairs in the Justice of the Peace courts. Here there's no jury and the judge is a volunteer from the community called a Justice. Packed uncomfortably amongst the drug addicts, the shop-lifters are more and more otherwise decent people discovering road traffic points are easy to lose. And it's very specialised law. Speed cameras, junction cameras, speed guns, prolasers, vascars, number plate recognition. What are police key performance indicators? Do they really have targets? If a bank computer says there's a problem with your standing order for insurance is that automatically becoming six points on your licence? Do insurance companies have any legal responsibilities at all? if the cops say that was a phone not a doughnut in your hand? If everyone else was doing 43mph in a 30mph and they picked you? New driver? It's probably never been easier to get a totting up ban. In Scotland anyway. In England where unlike jury trials exactly the same laws apply - the approach is different. Short term bans instead of six months? They use them a lot. Speed awareness course instead of putting three points on the licence for minor offences. Big business. And not even available here. Why not?