JFK - were the Daleks involved?
Close examination of newly released footage of that fateful day in Dallas 50 years ago shows a familiar figure sliding across the grassy knoll behind the crowds. You can make out the Sixties hairstyles and fashions, sense the hope in the air. The people thronging the street don't notice what is happening behind them because they all have their eyes on the motorcade.
The film, shot on an early Kodak home movie camera by a man known only as 'the Doctor', is a little grainy and a little shaky. But using the latest image-enhancing technology - combined with that thingy on your PC that whacks it all up to 200% - it reveals something extraordinary.
The figure has two telltale protruding arms. One of them is slightly longer than the other. The longer one looks like a sink plunger, but please, don't say that - they really don't like it. The figure has a kind of round helmet and doesn't walk as such, but seems to move like a hover mower. Sometimes its head moves right around. Do we need to say more? Let's see if we can get the sound to work here.
"Exfoliate! Exfoliate!"
Ah, sorry, we've clicked on the wrong one. You see, in this latest conspiracy theory, there were two of them, although they don't seem to have been working in harmony. In fact, this other one was off to Dallas Tips 'n' Toes for a facial. "I-must-get-rid-of-these-wart-like-bumps. I-must-get-rid-of-these-wart-like-bumps. Exfoliate! Exfoliate!"
Meanwhile, our one - well, we all know the story. Some people claim you can hear the words "Exterminate! Exterminate!", but there was lots of screaming and sirens so we can't be certain. Was there really a kind of current that shot out from the figure's arm, as some people claim? Or was this just the sun? We will probably never know. What we do know is that two students from the local college had been building pedal-operated robots. And so the debate rages.
But if the Daleks really were involved - there, we've said it! - the question remains: how did they escape, particularly when some new steps had recently been installed in Dealey Plaza? More to the point, isn't it spooky the way this footage has emerged just before tonight's 50th anniversary episode of Dr Who?
Let's just try the sound one more time. Here's that familiar, metallic voice again. "We-liked-Tom-Baker-the-best. We-liked-Tom-Baker-the-best. Tune-in-tonight. Enjoy. Enjoy."
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