NEVER have so few words contained so much: "25p for a Freddo!!!" came the angst-filled cry, written where everyone would see it: graffiti scrawled in blue paint on a brick wall in Springburn, opposite Glasgow Clyde College.
It cannot have been a student who daubed this crie de couer. They will never have known a Freddo as anything other than a quarter of a pound. In my day a Freddo was 10p. Space Raiders were 10p. A penny sweet was a penny. A can of juice was 30p. Not that I was allowed to eat any of these things - Ma Stewart operated a strict raisins for play piece policy. On special occasions raisins were substituted for their non-desiccated alternative. But still, as matron of the P1 and P2 tuck shop, I well knew the cost of things.
If graffiti is a form of expression, surely this call of despair must be taken seriously as a sign of our times. The General Election cometh and the populace are making plain the issues that are of most grave importance. The humble Freddo bar once was 10p. Humble still, it is now 25p.
That someone could take an 18g palm-sized piece of confectioner's chocolate, shape it froggishly and call it 25p seems outrageous. To paraphrase the comedian Kevin Bridges, school tuck shops will now need to start taking American Express.
This is on a par with the recent news Cadburys Fingers are to stay the same price yet lose two fingers from a box. This is scandal. Why have not our politicians cottoned on to this sure fire way of connecting with the masses, or at least securing the youth vote of tomorrow.
Every generation needs cheap sweets that will, in their gloaming years, whisk them immediately back to childhood with one sight, sniff or taste. Healthy eating has its place. Raisins and grapes have their place. But a child of pocket money age deserves access to a substantial pile of sugar, flavourings, vegetable fats, emulsifiers and cocoa mass for under £1 if they fancy an illicit, occasional treat.
Four Freddo bars is not going to take the hard edge off a long day's learning. Try three Freddo bars, three Space Raiders and change in your pocket. You want to be able to treat - or bribe - your pals with some exceptionally cheap and sweet corner shop confectionary.
There's a market here. A market someone clever should tap.
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