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Thought for the day: life is Tweet

IT'S coming to something when it takes a police force to make you comprehend the potential of Twitter.

Though I have an account, I have never tweeted. There's already a vast tonnage of asinine stuff on the site and it genuinely doesn't need any more. But the groundbreaking experiment undertaken by Western Isles police last weekend - "tweet everything unless there's a reason not to"- made me sit up and take notice.

Its results were intriguing. Speeding tickets issued; noise complaints; checks on licensed premises; drink-drive enforcements. And reports of "sheep blocking both carriageways at Laxdale".

It gave me the idea of updating my 26 loyal followers with tweets from my own activities. Selected highlights:

Sat 11am: Just up. Standing in kitchen in dressing-gown, listening to Radio 4. Drinking coffee with faintly sour milk.

Sat 1.15pm: Still in dressing-gown, listening to Any Questions? on Radio 4. Cheese on toast.

Sat 4.30pm: Dressed. Cats fed. Gazing out of window at inclement weather. Can't be bothered going out. Anyone know how to do a hashtag on a PC keyboard?

Sun 10.27am: Just up. Milk-free coffee not the same. Listening to The Archers. Phone hasn't gone all weekend. Found hashtag symbol - above right shift key. Strangely gratified.

Sun 2.12pm: #bored

Sun 6.30pm: Tried to re-grout shower. Anyone know a good plumber?

Sun 9.47pm: #reallybored

Sun 10.35pm: Watching Match of the Day. Enjoying Liverpool-Swansea.

Mon 4.03am: Slumber disturbed by strange noise from woods outside. Probably an owl. #bloodyowls

Mon 9.30am: Determined to be upbeat. This could be a fresh start. Feel inexplicably energised!

Mon 10.37am: #fedupwithwork

Mon 8.03pm: Reheated Quorn dish for supper. Forgot to buy milk.

Tues 3.24am: #bloodyowls

Tues 9.30am: At train station.

Tues 9.42am: Rather interesting cloud formation over eastern Croy.

Tues 3.47pm: Editor reads early draft of column and shakes his head. #notmyfault

"We hope our Twitter weekend has given you a greater insight into the modern-day policing of the Western Isles," the force said at the end of its Twitter exercise.

Me? All I know is that when I started my updates, I had 26 followers ... and minus nine when I finished.

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