It's been a good week for ...

talking to pets

A vet claims to have decoded what "miaow" really means - and says that cats actually use the sound to train their owners.

Gary Weitzman, author of How To Speak Cat, claims felines only vocalise in this way around people, and use different sounds to give orders such as "let me out", "feed me" or "stroke me". Presumably there's also a miaow for "I have eaten a dodgy mouse and am about to throw up on the sofa". Maybe that one takes a bit more intensive cat language training.

"You can't translate a particular miaow as being universal for all cats," says Weitzman, "but every cat will make up to two dozen miaow vocalisations that mean specific and consistent things - the favourite being the 4.30am 'gimme breakfast.'"

Weitzman, who obviously has the gift of the gab in many languages, also co-wrote How To Speak Dog.

It remains unconfirmed that his next book is to be called How To Talk Bull.

It's been a bad week for ... map-reading

Experts have warned that map-reading skills are under threat because of growing dependence on smartphones and sat-navs. The Royal Institute of Navigation (RIN) said increasing reliance on technology means people are losing the ability to find their way by traditional methods.

The RIN wants schools to teach the basics of using maps because few pupils can read one. Its president, Roger McKinley, said society is "sedated by software".

McKinlay added: "It is concerning that children are no longer routinely learning at home or school how to do anything more than press 'search' buttons on a device to get anywhere. Many cannot read a landscape, an ordnance survey map, or find their way to a destination with just a compass."

Confession time: I've never been good with maps. I recall a harrowing Guide camp orienteering exercise that ended in a search party being scrambled to find our team after we didn't return to base, despite being first to leave. I really shouldn't have been trusted with the map and compass, both of which were probably upside down. We were wandering for so long, reading the stars was fast becoming our next option.

So, pressing "search" and waiting for a machine to tell you where to go? What's not to like?

If it gets you back to camp before all the beans and sausages have been hoovered up, I say bring it on.

A Guide satnav badge is long overdue.