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Child's play

LOVELY day in Glasgow yesterday, with temperatures soaring and the sun shining.

One reader at the Fort shopping centre heard an angry mother tell her whining young child: "See that big yellow thing in the sky? The earth revolves around it, no' around you!"

Funny foam

CLYDEBANK stand-up Kevin Bridges, watching the referee in yesterday's Belgium versus Algeria match use the new spray foam to mark 10 yards back from the ball at a free kick, told his fans: "This ref's not holding back spraying that foam - you wouldn't want to fall asleep at a party in his house."

Double trouble

IT'S wrong to say that women are not interested in the World Cup. Some of them have a deep appreciation and knowledge of the game.

Nonetheless, a Newton Mearns reader tells us his wife came home last week and told him: "I was lucky - I got two teams in the office World Cup sweepstake. Bosnia and Herzegovina."

What's in a name?

THE Herald news story about stores at the Silverburn shopping Centre in Glasgow losing too many trolleys which are dumped in a local burn shows how life goes full circle.

The story was told years ago that when planners visited the site and were trying to think of a name, one of them saw the sun glistening on a shiny object in the local stream and suggested "Silverburn!" The shiny reflection was indeed coming off an abandoned shopping trolley.

Support act

A SOUTH side of Glasgow husband was on pick-up duty to collect his wife and daughter after the Dolly Parton show at the city's Hydro.

He phoned to ask when the show finished and was surprised it was earlier than he thought. When he queried the time he was told: "It's because she's got no support."

He couldn't stop himself from replying: "Dolly Parton? Really?"

Saucy tale

WE asked for your bar staff stories and naturally we were reminded about the Glasgow barman who, when asked for a slice of lemon in a gin and tonic, replied that they weren't a branch of Malcolm Campbell's.

In a similar vein, Brian Logan recalls: "In the seventies I took a friend to a Glasgow pub where he ordered pie, beans and chips.

"When he asked the barman for brown sauce, the reply was, 'What do you think this is? The Ritz?'"

Row your boat

READER Stewart MacKenzie jokes: "I noticed an advert offering tickets for Henley at £198 for food, champagne and rowing.

"For a fraction of that cost, my wife and I can go down to the local pub, have a bite to eat and a few drinks, then row all the way home."

The Games go on

WE asked for your suggestions on what to tell Commonwealth Games visitors what they should know about Glasgow.

David Donaldson proposes: "If a shop assistant asks 'Would like a poke?', this does not constitute sexual harassment.

"And do not try to buy a train ticket to anywhere using the station's Gaelic name."

From Eddie McCann: "Our children are not actually all called Wayne. And be alarmed when offered a kiss in Glasgow."

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