ALREADY the Commonwealth Games seem a fading memory.
As Robert Bennie tells us: "I believe I may be suffering from Post Games Syndrome. Everyone has stopped smiling at me, it's pouring with rain, the papers have nothing to write about, I have completely lost my feelgood factor, the football season has started; and I can`t find a polis anywhere!"
Full sale ahead
STILL, we are reminded now the Games are over of the little old lady that David Mitchell of Bearsden saw in the Games merchandise shop in George Square. Says David: "We were there on the Monday before the Games started, and at the checkout a wee Glasgow wummin asked the staff if there would be a closing down sale because 'these prices are too dear for an old pensioner'." Try the Barras in a few weeks, we reckon.
Weighing words
A FINAL story of the Games audiences, and Linda Brown tells us of the vocal encouragement at the para-powerlifting. Says Linda: "A lifter from the tiny Pacific island of Nauru was being spurred on by one of the team who was shouting out to her various instructions to win, in, presumably, Nauruan. Not to be left out, a Glaswegian who could not speak Nauruan but wanted to encourage an overseas guest shouted out in encouragement, 'What she said!'"
Calling time
A FINAL tale from the entertainment zone at Glasgow Green. One of the barmen was making tidying up a bit easier for himself by offering a few bob to kids to collect discarded drinking cups. One youngster got carried away and went up to a drinker still quaffing his beer and asked: "Are you finished with that?" The man was heard saying: "That's the first time I've been told to drink up by an eight-year-old."
Face facts
WHERE were we? Oh yes, the referendum. Robert White passes on: "In a Kirkcudbright pub at the weekend, a girl noticed a fella with a face she recognised tattooed on his arm. She walked up and said, 'I guess you must be a Yes supporter with a tattoo of Rabbie Burns on your arm.' The fella paused, then replied in a thick Scouse accent, 'it's Bruce Lee'."
False alarm
MEANWHILE over in Edinburgh, Irish sketch show performers Foil, Arms and Hog, appearing at the Underbelly, tell us of a previous show at the Fringe when they had a fake Mexican gang fight and would take an audience member each night on stage to pretend fight for his wife's affections with a fake knife. They tell us: "One night we had a middle-aged Glaswegian couple. Just as the fight was about to break out, the man paused, and in front of the entire audience, popped out his false teeth. The sketch continued with the toothless Glaswegian, and us, in convulsions."
Wholly mole-y
WE get inundated with these money- saving offers sent to your email. Donald Grant in Paisley was looking at one from Groupon which promised him "Mole or wart removal. 89% off" and he muses: "Surely it would be better if they just removed the whole thing?"
Leaked report
AND reader Debbie Meehan was using the internet to read reviews of kettles before going out to buy one. She was reminded of the importance of grammar and punctuation when she read one review which stated: "Within two years both my daughters and my kettle started leaking around the bottom seal so they had to be disposed of."
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article