AT last - an ingenious method of dealing with people who insist on conducting loud phone conversations on trains.
Cormac Mac Crann, a reader of an English national newspaper, has detailed just such an encounter on the London-to-Birmingham train.
A passenger in the seat in front was talking into her phone in an irritatingly loud voice, and at one point she unwisely gave out her phone number.
Our hero, seizing the moment, scribbled down the number then sent the woman a text, asking if she always shouted down the phone.
"It all went very quiet after that," Cormac reports with some satisfaction, "and I was able to pursue my paper in peace."
WHO says that Christmas cards necessarily have to be traditional? Robert Aitken alerts us to the card he received from his factor, Cathcart Housing Association. It shows a boarded-up Holmlea School. The snow's a nice seasonal touch, though.
IN the words of one of our correspondents, our festive film competition - change one letter of a film title to come up with a new title - is "addictive." Here are some more:
From Jim McQueen: Brighton Jock (Holidaying Glaswegian goes on a crime spree)
Drainspotting (Glasgow rainfall proves a problem)
Dial X For Murder (dyslexic Glasgow cop fails to solve crimes).
From Frank Bendoris: The Third Can (Teenage neds boast about their alcohol intake)
From Ian Anderson: Revel Without A Cause (Christmas sweets lie unopened in favour of New Year diet regime)
From Blair Miller: Get Shirty (irate customer discovers a way to get complaints answered)
From John Mulholland: Desperately Peeking Susan (a little girl tries hard to catch a glimpse of Santa delivering her presents).
KEN Nicholson, meanwhile, sends in a provocative entry: The Loneliness of The Long-Distance Punner - the tragic biopic of a Herald Diarist. We're not sure about this one: who could possibly play Ken Smith? (Suggestions on a postcard to the usual address).
A QUIRKY piece of news from China, where a man obsessed with stealing lingerie belonging to his female neighbours has been arrested.
The man was found to have stolen 2,000 items and hidden them in a secret place in the suspended ceiling of his flat. When he filled up that space, he used ceiling cavities in the communal fire-escape stairwells to stash other items he had stolen.
The reason his crime came to light? Simple: his ceiling collapsed under the weight of all that lingerie.
ON a Christmas theme (we do our level best to be topical on the Diary), we liked this recent festive tweet from a woman in Dublin: "The postman told me he's off to Spain tomorrow so I asked was he going to Parcelona and he ignored what I believe to be my best joke of 2014."
AND finally ... comedian Milton Jones has tweeted that he has finally discovered what Victoria's Secret is. Turns out it's a massive bus station. A Merry Christmas to all Diary readers.
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article