A READER tells us how difficult it has become to order a cup of coffee these days.
He was in a Glasgow cafe when a chap sat down and asked for a coffee. The girl rhymed off all the different types of coffee he could have but he interrupted her with: "Just instant's fine." And she told him: "If you want instant coffee you'll have to wait."
Dram fine time
ARRAN Distillery will again host the island's Malt and Music Festival, a great combination of bands and a dram, over the last weekend in June.
It will probably not have a repeat, alas, of a visit to the distillery by a group of Norwegians who told tour guide Campbell Laing they liked a dip in the water, and stripped off to their birthday suits and plunged into the burn supplying the distillery. Says Campbell: "On return to the visitor centre, where there is an indoor waterfall, they again stripped off and plunged in, joined by a fully clothed female member of staff - who is no longer with us."
As ithers see us
OUR tale of the Barras' spieler selling goods reminds Lesley Falconer: "I watched a street trader on a platform high above the crowd who pushed a net curtain along a pole, holding it out and saying, 'This is what it looks like frae the inside of yer windaes'. He then swung round and with his back to the crowd said, 'And this is what it looks like frae the ootside'. Sadly I never did buy anything there as I was too scared to take my hands out of my pockets where my purse and keys were. Great entertainment though."
A bridge too far
A READER was in dispute with the Scottish Bridge Union over a levy payment. He thought it was highly appropriate that the official arguing over the money in an email he received was SBU president Mike Ash.
Hopping mad
FIFA have announced the slogans that will be on the buses of the World Cup teams, and already a Melbourne newspaper has dubbed the Australian slogan "Socceroos: Hopping our way to history" as the lamest ever. "Can't we let them lose with dignity?" asked the Herald Sun.
Other football fans are uncomfortable that the German slogan "Ein Land, Eine Mannschaft, Ein Traum" has echoes of the old Nazi exhortation "Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Führer." I know we're not there, but what do readers think would have been an apt slogan for a Scotland team bus?
Saints and sinners
ST MIRREN fan Brian Gibson in East Kilbride received an email from the club yesterday offering fans the chance to appear in a charity match at the club in which they could be in a team managed by Danny Lennon.
"Do they not read their own news?" asks Brian, as St Mirren had already shown poor Danny the door.
Games on
GOOD news that Olympic gold medallist Mo Farah will compete in the Commonwealth Games this summer in Glasgow. Alan Stewart says that if Mo wins a medal he should put the ribbon it was on up for auction as there are plenty of people who would bid for "the sash Mo Farah wore".
Sorry about that.
What a card
A COLLEAGUE wanders over to interrupt us with: "All I got for my birthday last week was a pack of sticky playing cards. I found it really hard to deal with."
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article