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Mother's little helper

TALKING posh continued.

Linda Owens in Kirkintilloch recalls: "Back in the 1950s, when door-to-door salesmen were commonplace, my English mum opened the door to a man who said, 'Dae ye want a wundae cleaner?' Thinking the Glasgow gentleman was trying to sell her a vacuum cleaner made by a firm called Wonder, she replied, 'No thank you, we have a Goblin', which was a brand of cylinder vacuum. She observed his startled look and hasty departure. Took her ages to work out that he was a window cleaner. She never saw him again."

The long way home

WE mentioned growing concerns about elderly drivers, and a Dunblane reader tells us about his father-in-law who got lost between Ayr and Dunblane, and ended up in Bishopbriggs, eventually arriving home hours late. When his family questioned him on how he ended up in Bishopbriggs, he blamed the taxi he was following. "But why did you follow the taxi?" asked his family.

"Because I reckoned he would know where he was going," came the indignant reply.

All to pot

OUR story recalling Paul McCartney's Dunoon court appearance on a cannabis charge reminds Kate Woods that although the story was front page news in national papers, the local Dunoon Standard had it buried among the list of petty crimes under "Court Reports". Says Kate: "McCartney, described in the report as a musician, was apparently not personally known to Willie Ingles, the editor/owner of the Standard at that time, nor was he local, and therefore did not rate any special coverage."

No quarter given

BOUNCY, chirpy radio announcers - you either love them or hate them. Paul Cortopassi tells us of a radio interview where the person being questioned was asked at the end "Do you like 10cc?" so that the presenter could segue smoothly into the next piece of music. "I'm more of a quarter-gill man myself" was the classic reply.

Any other favourite radio moments?

Day dream

THE National Collective, artists in favour of independence, have put up a £1000 prize for the best poster of the Yes campaign. A reader nominates a placard seen at a National Collective rally in Glasgow which changed one of the most famous political sayings to "Aye, Have A Dream". Any other eye-catching ones from either side?

Weather wise

WE have mentioned St Mirren a few times recently, which prompts Jack Halley to tell us of his favourite headline from the Saturday sports editions in Glasgow - the pink one or the green one, he's not sure - about a rare St Mirren win at Ibrox on a day of miserable rain. The headline was "Smirren Reign at Ibrox".

You're only young once

AS we begin to wind up our under-age drinking tales, Jim Torbett in Troon says: "I visited a pub in Kilmarnock, where the owner said he had not seen me before. I told him I had not been in for some 50 years as his grandfather had barred me for wearing my school blazer."

Plane speaking

MOVES by MSPs to have Prestwick Airport renamed Robert Burns Airport remind Stephen Murray in Erskine of being at Munich Airport where his German driver proudly told him it was actually Franz Josef Strauss Airport, named after the German politician. Says Stephen: "He went on to say it was the only airport named after a person. I said I thought this was a really good idea, and that they should name all big airports after people - JFK for instance. The rest of the journey passed in silence."

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