QUITE a stooshie over Johann Lamont resigning as Labour leader in Scotland.
Michael Gray rather naughtily remarked: "Hearing that Ruth Davidson will job share Tory and Labour leaderships for the next few months." And Tory MSP Murdo Fraser, pictured, had his fun by commenting: "Panicked for a moment there when I saw reports of Labour leader resigning. What a relief to find it's Johann Lamont, not Ed Miliband."
Splitting the bill
ALSO in politics, there was much debate over Britain's large bill from the EU. One commentator tried to explain it to us by saying: "I'm not paying that bill. France had a starter and a dessert. I only had a main, and Italy drank two bottles of red wine."
A year to forget
STILL can't beat public transport for learning the strangest of stories. A reader getting the train into Glasgow got into conversation with the chap sitting opposite who had the numbers 1, 6, and 9 tattooed on his fingers. Eventually she asked them what the numbers meant and he told her: "It was supposed to be 1690 but it hurt so much I didn't get the zero done."
Gift not included
READER Frances Woodward tells us: "Got a £5 note out of the cash machine yesterday and it had 'Free Palestine' written on it beside the Queen's head. I didn't get one, even though I waited for ages."
Core blimey
THE news that one of the first Apple computers, built by Steve Jobs in his garage in 1976, has been sold for $900,000 was being discussed in a Glasgow pub the other night. "So that makes it the most affordable Apple products on the market then," suggested one toper.
Running on empty
A READER who works in a Glasgow office confides to us: "It seems to me that the hardest part of the day after running a marathon is finding ways to work it into every single conversation you have with your colleagues."
What's in store …
A COLLEAGUE wanders over to interrupt us with: "My wife said she was leaving me because of my obsession with supermarkets. 'Wait! Rose!' I shouted after her."
Hair, there, everywhere GETTING old continued. Says David McCall in Kilmarnock: "Donnie Rodgers commented in the Diary column that you know you are getting old when the hairdresser asks if you want your eyebrows trimmed.
"Wait until they trim your ears without asking!"
To coin a phrase
READER Graham Scott gets in touch: "Loved the BBC Scotland report the other night on how the people running Edinburgh want to close some public toilets and ask businesses to allow people to use theirs instead. Councillor Lesley Hinds told us how the council 'watches every penny we spend.'"
Some smart advice
A BEARSDEN father tells us how he managed to get the undivided attention of his teenage daughter. "Do you want to know how to extend the battery life on your smart phone by hours?" he asked her. When she eagerly nodded he added: "Switch it off when you come to the dinner table."
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