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Roadside service

HUGH Walsh in Dalry was aware of a breakdown truck outside his house picking up a car, but thought no more about it until there was a knock at his door.

Says Hugh: "It was the breakdown truck driver who had himself broken down and asked if I could help.

"He asked me to get in the cab and turn the starter while he disappeared under the bonnet. When he shouted 'Now!' I turned the starter and the engine burst into life. Result: one happy breakdown man – until I mentioned my call-out charge of £60. At that he was gone."

Touch of tartan

WE mentioned the roller derby girl named Camelon Diaz and we wondered if there were any other Scotland-themed Hollywood stars. Stuart Miller in Linlithgow suggests Scarlett Johnstone, Mel Gibson Street, and of course the splendid Brad Pitt-enweem, pictured.

Double trouble

AND entertainer Andy Cameron tells us: "It reminds me of the twin sisters who formed a tribute act called Cher and Cher Alike, and that marvellous duo with the great harmonies, Simon and Garthamlock."

Top of the class

A GLASGOW teacher tells us he is already looking forward to the Christmas break after telling one of his pupils this week that she was late for class.

"A queen is never late," she serenely replied. "Everyone else is simply early."

Three-line whip

ELECTION time in America of course, and a Bearsden businessman contacts us from the States where he passed a line of folk waiting to vote. In the queue were a couple in their 40s and their son aged about 20 who seemed unhappy.

"You weren't complaining when you had to wait to buy an iPhone," his mum calmly told him.

Extra time

A FOOTBALL fan who has watched a few Manchester United games on television contacted us yesterday: "Today marks 26 years of Glasgow's Sir Alex Ferguson being in charge of Manchester United. It's actually 28 years if you include all the injury time awarded to them."

Dark terror

THE discussion in a Glasgow pub the other night was about the rising cost of living. Eventually one punter declared: "When I was young I was scared of the dark.

"Now when I see my electricity bill I'm scared of the lights."

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