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Supermarket sweep

MOVING story of Terry Waite going back to Lebanon where he was held captive by terrorists for five years.

Graeme Liveston in Milngavie tells us the television interview with Waite was spoiled slightly when the interviewer's question: "It must have been very emotional for you returning to Lebanon and walking through the same streets" was put in the sub-titles as: "And walking through Sainsbury's."

Wet weekend

GREAT to see British photographer Craig Easton, who now works around the world, has been named Travel Photographer of the Year. His stunning winning portfolio is named "Dreich", and yes, you've guessed it, was entirely snapped in Scotland.

Friends reunited

OFFICE parties are in full swing, which is why a south-side reader found himself in a large taxi queue outside Central Station at one in the morning at the weekend. "The wait was entertained," he tells us, "by an inebriated young woman in an impossibly short glittery dress screeching at her pal: 'Ah found yer nose. It wiz in ma business again.'"

Name game

DUNDEE College and Angus College in Arbroath are being amalgamated, and sessions are being held with staff to come up with a name for the new institution.

Popular suggestion is AC/DC, which alas has already been taken by a popular rock group.

Another member of staff suggested Dungus as it was "a pleasing combination of the names, and a reminder of the quality of thinking that went into the proposed changes".

Fairy tale

DADS who think they are funny, continued.

A teenage girl in East Kilbride asked her dad: "I think the new Hobbit film looks great."

"Now you're just Tolkien rubbish," he replied.

X marks the spot

THE freezing weather provokes the seasonal gag: "A Scot visiting London slipped and fell just outside Downing Street, and was helped to his feet by David Cameron.

"'Thanks,' said the Scot politely.

"'If you really want to thank me,' joked the Prime Minister, 'just vote for my party at the next election.'

"'Listen, pal,' said the Scot. 'I landed on my backside, no' ma heid.'"

Square eyes

A DRINKER in a Glasgow pub the other night asked the riddle: "What should you get if you can't choose between watching The X factor or Strictly Come Dancing?"

When no-one knew the answer he replied: "A life."

Back to front

TODAY is the unusual date: 12.12.12. Or as one reader described it: "One of the few days when Americans write the date correctly."

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