THE £60m redevelopment of the Burrell Collection was given the go-ahead by Glasgow City Council yesterday.

It reminds us of lawyer Fiona Westwood being at a formal dinner in Edinburgh when the professional chap sitting next to her asked where she was from. When she replied "Glasgow", he turned to his wife and said: "I don't think we know anyone from Glasgow, do we, dear?" His wife nervously replied: "No, I don't think so, but we have been to Glasgow once - to the Burrell of course."

A WEST End reader swears to us that he heard a teenager on Byres Road tell his pal: "My mum told me to vacuum my room. So I found a video of a vacuum cleaner on YouTube and played it loudly while I had a lie down."

BEST wishes for singer Joni Mitchell who was rushed to hospital with a mystery illness. A reader wonders if a doctor was a Joni fan and announced when asked about her condition: "You don't know what you've got till its gone."

WE mentioned the new book about Glasgow's Govanhill Baths, United We Will Swim. We also learn in it that the crude but effective way of teaching children how to swim was to put them in the learners' pool with a rope lasso around their chests and tow them through the water. As Paul Millar recalled in the book: "I remember jumping into the pool and straight under the water, gasping for air, and then being pulled up by this rope under my arms, and then being towed across the water. After being towed up and down, and half-drowning, I suddenly realised I could actually stay up. The big guy with the rope grinned and said, 'There you go son'." Yes, who needed health and safety regulations then?

ADVICE from Motherwell Police who wrote in their Twitter account: "Going away this weekend? Don't advertise it on social media." It then gave an example to avoid: "Dear Facebook, please let everyone know that I'm away on holiday and that my house is empty and an easy target for burglars." Stephen Frew replied to them: "Obviously your friends on Facebook are far less honest than mine."

TALKING of social media at this time of year. Church of England priest Richard Coles confessed: "Just noticed auto-correct turned 'Holy Oils' into 'Horny Owls' which is going to surprise the Bishop of Brixworth when he gets my email."

BEATLES fans are saddened by the death of John Lennon's first wife Cynthia. As Scottish singer and broadcaster Rab Noakes eloquently commented: "It is sad indeed. She was a part of our lives. I met her once when we had her as a guest on a Radio2 show in the late '80s. She was open and charming in a genuinely down-to-earth way. I made a faux pas when I addressed her husband Jim as John. As I cringed they were delightful, saying 'Don't worry about it. It happens all the time'."

DOUGLAS Kinnaird, planning a trek on the West Highland Way, was amused by the official on-line guide trying to work out when something is or isn't a cave. As it states: "Rob Roy's Cave is not a true cave but a crevice under a pile of fallen rocks. The actual crevice is not easy to find but is identified by the word CAVE helpfully painted in large white letters on the wall." Sounds like a good way to fool the tourists - just call it whatever you want and write it on the wall.

A COLLEAGUE wanders over to interrupt us with: "I've taken a vow of poverty. To irritate me, send money."