IT was the Tweeddale West by-election for the Scottish Borders Council the other week, where Conservative candidate Keith Cockburn triumphed.
We pass on, however, the observation on one of the 21 spoiled ballot papers. The voter had decided instead of picking a favourite to write instead: "Waste of time, yir awe ********".
And that was after trudging along to the local school in order to vote.
A touch of the raw stuff
ANGUS Macintyre bought a bottle of Cardhu Speyside malt whisky from his local Sainsbury's and was surprised to find a sticker on the bottom which states: "Security protected. Please remove prior to microwaving."
"And to think," says Angus, "I've been drinking it raw all these years."
Those were the days
SHOWING that they've been getting away with it for years, Angus Johnston sends us a cartoon by the great Willie Galt in the Evening Times in the eighties. It shows a wee Glasgow wifie in a gas showroom and telling the young girl behind the counter: "Listen hen, ah can remember when gas only went up if ye put a match tae it."
It's steaming in Ayrshire
DAVID Clark from Tarbolton was in a Chinese restaurant in Ayrshire where, at the end of the meal, his wife commented to the waitress bringing them their bill that the restaurant had quite an extensive list of cocktails, and that she might try one on their next visit.
"Why not have one now" said the waitress. "I've already had a couple of glasses of wine," replied David's wife, gracefully declining the offer.
"It will make you feel steaming," persisted the waitress, presumably thinking that was an attractive selling point in Ayrshire.
Standing room only
AN investigation is being carried out into unruly Ajax fans ripping out seats and throwing them at stewards during the Champions League tie this week against Celtic at Parkhead. As Oldfirmfacts1 observed on Twitter: Ajax statement: "Our fans misunderstood when a steward told them to take a seat."
AFTER the team behind the BBC comedy Still Game confirmed they were bringing the show back to the 12,000 seater Hydro Arena in Glasgow, former Taggart actor Colin McCredie announced: "Taggart on Ice at Greenock Waterfront Centre every second Tuesday in April."
Sadly he was joking of course, but it sounds a great idea.
Alex game for success
WORRYING times at Grangemouth where the Scottish Government may have to step in to save the oil refinery. As Bruce Skivington tells us: "Alex Salmond has just bought Prestwick Airport to add to Scottish Water. And now he's considering buying the oil refinery. Is this because his parents never bought him a Monopoly board?"
MANY are the burning questions discussed on a Glasgow bus. A reader heard one young chap ask his pal: "Do you think hearing aid salesmen deliberately whisper to their customers?"
"ITV have announced they are axing the quiz show Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" a regular in a Glasgow bar declared last night.
"What?" replied his pal. "And they didn't even ask the audience?"
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