DOUGIE McKerrell in Glasgow was reading on Dutch airline KLM's website that "on KLM flights we do not offer wi-fi yet.

But this year, starting with one of our Boeing 777-300 aircraft, we are introducing wi-fi on board - as a pilot."

And Dougie thought: "As a pilot? Let's hope Michael O'Leary from Ryanair doesn't get any ideas to save money. "

Pet etiquette

A READER ponders on the reassurance given by a ned in Glasgow who had a menacing-looking dog with him. He told a woman who stopped to pet the animal: "Don't worry, hen. She only bites folk I set her on."

Shocking act

SO what's been happening at the Fringe? We see actors Susan Swanton and Isabel Ford, appearing in Mother F, a comedy about mothers at the Gilded Balloon, handing out flyers while wearing baby slings, complete with very life-like fake babies. They got bored and started juggling with the babies.

That certainly got folk's attention. It's not known if the group of passing tourists still have their jaws agape.

In touch with his past

ALSO at the Fringe for his first full show in 15 years is comedian David Baddiel. Getting to grips with living in digs in Edinburgh again, David remarked yesterday: "Found myself eating lunch from a microwave packet to save on washing-up. Edinburgh is acting on me like a time-machine."

No passes?

EXAM results came out yesterday for Scottish school pupils., and there was advice on Twitter. Writes Oldfirmfacts1: "If you're a pupil feeling bad about your results, remember - the results you get can't be as bad as the results Ally McCoist is getting."

Sober advice

IT seems life is a lot more complicated for young people these days. A Glasgow reader heard a girl on the bus the other day explaining about a mutual friend: "When she goes on a night out she stays sober so that she can take pictures, put them on Facebook, and tell everyone what a great time she's having, when clearly she's not."

Just the ticket

A STIRLING reader tells us she was keen to trace her family roots, and asked for advice from an expert who told her: "If you really want to find your relatives then the easiest way is to win the lottery - then they'll trace you instead."

The office buzz

THINGS can get pretty quiet in offices at this time of year with so many folk on holiday. One reader tells us: "A bee flew in the window the other day. I spent a pleasant ten minutes imagining it was a tiny traffic warden in an out-of-control hot air balloon."