NATIONAL Poetry Day yesterday, and as James Martin asked:

"Does that mean someone might come to your house to read your metre?"

Party goes on for Loonies

YOU might have missed the news that the annual conference of the Official Monster Raving Loony Party was held at the same time as the Tory Party's.

What is worrying is that it was the Raving Loony Party, and not the Conservatives who were able to put on their website: "What a great time was had. Not one of our candidates defected to Ukip and no one resigned due to dubious behaviour."

Fronting up on sobriety

WE asked for your stories about remaining sober, and a reader recalled when thousands of women walked through Edinburgh at night wearing very visible bras to raise millions of pounds for breast cancer charities.

One of the walkers put on her fundraising page: "It's possible I have walked around Edinburgh before in my bra, but this time I am doing it for charity and sober."

Bunker mentality

QUITE a few golfers are enjoying their last rounds of the year before the bad weather sets in.

However it is shocking that one golfer in an Ayrshire club bar raised a despicable slur on women golfers by loudly telling his fellow golfers: "Do you know what the hardest thing is about playing a round of golf with the wife?

"Telling her 150 times what a great shot she's played."

Shame on him.

Mother knows best

FOLK have also been squeezing in some late holidays.

Donald Grant in Paisley tells us: "Just returned from a holiday in Majorca. Check-in at Palma was a lengthy ordeal with young children and their parents getting fractious.

"Behind us we heard raised voices and a young one shouting, 'I don't like you! I don't like you!' This was followed by the exasperated reply, 'You don't have to like me - I'm your mother'."

Don't talk such rubbish

WE mentioned the sartorial advice that the US website Dappered offered to Americans visiting Glasgow.

We should also point out their advice for Americans visiting pubs in the city.

It states: "Do not attempt to order food or drinks in a Scottish accent. It sounds silly, but many American students and tourists believe that they can speak with a flawless Scottish accent. You won't fool anyone, and your impersonation will not be appreciated by the locals."

Oh, I don't know. We'd certainly appreciate it here at The Diary.

Message in a bottle

YES, we know the referendum is over and we should move on, but Jamie Ross, who was doing on-line coverage for the BBC Scotland website, was recalling his travels around the country before the vote.

Said Jamie: "I was on a train when a man drinking a bottle of Stella Artois asked if I wanted a sip. I said no. He said, 'All the more for me!' and laughed." Just a normal day in Scotland, we reckon.

A thirst for knowledge

AH, the problems of being a student these days. After all the special offers during Freshers' Week, a female student standing dubiously outside a Glasgow club was heard telling her pal the other night: "They say drinks are full price tonight. I don't know what a full-price drink is in Glasgow."