The Scottish National Party have gone all psychological on us.
They are trying to change us from a bunch of snivelling Jocks who whinge on about centuries of subjugation by the English.
We've got to be positive.
Which is worth a try.
First, we need to sing from the same song sheet. Or, if you're listening to Robbie Shepherd's Take The Floor, dance to the same tune.
Unleashing Scottish country dancing's power for change, Robbie will say: "That was a Dashing White Sergeant to Gloria Gaynor's I Will Survive. Now take your partners for Tina Turner's Strathspey Simply The Best. And then it's everyone on the floor for a Strip The Willow to Bonnie Tyler's Holding Out For A Hero.
Remember to keep I've Got The Power by Snap handy on your iPod for when David Cameron, Danny Alexander et al make strident speeches about a separate Scotland being impoverished.
You may have a morbid fear that Scotland can never be independent because of the weather. Avoid this syndrome by listening regularly to Johnny Nash singing: "I can see clearly now the rain has gone/ I can see no obstacles in the way."
The SNP have been using psychologist Claire Howell to get this positive message through. Ms Howell's Really Effective Development Company helps people enhance personal performance and strategic skills.
One of her mantras is: "You'll learn how to put your affirmations to work through a process of visualisation which enables you to re-programme your subconscious." I already do this. As I write, I have a process of visualisation that as soon I am finished this column I will be lying on my sofa doing the crossword.
Ms Howell also promises: "You will find out how to use your imagination constructively and purposefully to create the future you want." Again, I have been doing this for years but still haven't won the Lottery.
But if this stuff is good enough for Alex Salmond, I am happy to open my mind, manage my inner dialogue, expand my comfort zone and say yes to my future.
But I'll keep singing. Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, don't mess with Mr In-between. Unless we get a really good deal from Westminster on full fiscal autonomy.
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