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cop shops

The Met plan to cut costs by closing inquiry desks in police stations and working out of counters at Costa coffee, churches and football stadiums.

Putting cops in shops will make crime easier to report. In Marks & Spencer a distraught man says: "There's been a robbery. She pickpocketed £100 from my trousers this morning. Now she's up in womanswear committing credit card fraud. I can give you a description of the perpetrator but I'll need to go into witness protection."

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