This independence debate is not getting any easier.
On one side Keith Brown, the SNP Veterans Minister, says recruits to a new Scottish army will have a job for life. They will live happily ever after except of course if they are killed in action but this is unlikely since Scotland will not be embarking on any colonialist wars.
On the other hand, UK Business Minister Vince Cable says Scotland will be too poor to have a decent postal system so mammies will not be able to send their sojer laddie a letter never mind a sultana cake to remind them of home.
Honest, mothers used to send sultana cakes to the front line. But that was a couple of world wars ago.
The modern Scottish soldier will be able to talk to his mum on his iPhone and say how much he is missing her and her sultana cakes, the latter being nice and hard and ideal for throwing at the enemy.
My point (in there somewhere) is that referendum claim and counter-claim is becoming increasingly strident and desperate. We still have 441 arguing days to go before the vote.
So today I am launching the How No? campaign.
People ask: How should Scotland be independent? We say: How no?
This wee quirk of using "how" when we mean "why" is just another thing that makes us different. You will know the story about the Scotsman who goes into a bank to withdraw cash. He is asked: How do you want your money? He replies: What's it got to do with you?
So, how do want independence? Just because.
When do we want it? At a convenient date as soon as possible after September 18 next year.
And what will happen thereafter? Each and every Scot will get a huge windfall benefit from our oil and gas resources.
Or maybe the oil will run out on September 19 and all the lights will go out.
There will be no Trident but no defence jobs.
An independent Scotland will be a full member of the European Union while the former United Kingdom (fUK to you) has voted to go out into an economic wilderness.
Or an independent Scotland is refused entry to the EU and has to go cap in hand to Norway for help.
It's a bit scary. How can a nation find the courage?
How no?
on ...
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