YOU will have seen the shock news that an academic study shows Lego faces are getting angrier.

(Quick check of calendar to make sure it's not April 1.)

The survey by the University of Canterbury in New Zealand examined Lego's 6000 mini-figures released from 1975 to 2010. Researchers found the figures all had the same smiley face until 1989. Then the range was expanded to include hundreds of different emotions with the faces becoming increasingly angry.

"The children who grow up with Lego today will remember not only smileys, but also anger and fear in the mini-figures' faces," says the study which is to be presented to an international conference in Japan. The lead author, robot expert Dr Christof Bartneck, said the change in the faces reflected a broader shift among toy and game makers towards depicting conflict-based themes. "We cannot help but wonder how the move from only positive faces to an increasing number of negative faces impacts how children play."

I suspect that the faces on Lego men and women have become grimmer because children keep pulling the heads off. I fear further that the news about Lego may be just the tip of the iceberg.

Has Barbie been overdoing the botox? How many designer scars does boyfriend Ken need? Not to mention that "love/hate" tattoo on his knuckles and the builder's bum.

What other toys have been causing trauma? How many children have had an eye out in violent games of Tiddlywinks? Have snakes been getting longer and more vicious while ladders get shorter and shooglier? How many have choked on the plastic triangles in Trivial Pursuit thinking they actually are slices of cake?

Let's not forget the angst of Monopoly players who face jail and bankruptcy and have to rely on benefits from the community chest. And children who live in a squalid squat on Old Kent Road while siblings stay in a five-star hotel in Mayfair.

It's time to end the scandal of people stuck for days on a trolley in the lobby waiting for their turn to play Operation.

Meccano is an engineering game all about stress, such as not being able to find the last screw for your model of the Forth Road Bridge because a wee brother has put it up his nose. Then the frustration once the bridge is complete of Alex Salmond saying you have to build another one.

Don't ask about Cluedo. It was a boy from fifth year with an Uzi submachine gun in the playground that done it.

tom shields Traumatic toys

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