Disappointed with your Unionist party?

Feel the Tories just aren't the same any more? Don't believe Scottish Labour when it promises to put an end to the something for nothing society? Too embarrassed to be seen voting LibDem?

Time to take a new look at Ukip. It's the party that puts Britain right at the heart of its policies. And, more importantly, it's the party where you can rely on your elected member to wear a proper jacket and tie. Unless he is a member of the militant Blazer and Cravat Tendency within Ukip. Or indeed a woman who will probably be wearing something by Jaeger.

It's a thoroughly British political movement led by a chap called Nigel. Don't worry about his surname. Farage sounds a bit foreign but he's from Herne Bay in Kent.

To avoid confusion, the independence is from Europe. Freedom from those bureaucrats in Brussels so we British can continue to holiday in Spain and have second homes in Tuscany and the Dordogne.

What are Ukip's core values? Go to a meeting and you will find before getting down to the business in hand there will be a lot of discussion about traffic. How to shave half an hour off the journey by using the new bypass. Then go on in the formal part of the meeting to vote against any new motorway bypass in your own backyard.

There may be general agreement that the roads are much busier since European laws allowed so many immigrants into the country. Hard data on foreign infiltration of society may be provided in the form of a burqa count down your way or the number of Romanian Big Issue sellers spotted on a recent shopping trip to the city.

Ukip is British through and through. Metaphorically speaking, there is no horse in this burger. Policies? Exit from Europe. No immigrants. More people in jail. Smoking in pubs. No such thing as climate change and anyway it's China's fault. Less tax on rich folk.

You might ask if Ukip has politicians of sufficient calibre? The answer is yes. They can claim expenses with the best of them. They have been soaking the European Parliament for millions of euros. Two of their MEPs were put in jail for fraud.

Be independently British. Be better together with Ukip.