If you're having a traditional Bank Holiday weekend you'll probably do some or all of the following: plan a barbecue, cancel the barbecue because of the weather, get press-ganged into visiting a garden centre instead and then find yourself in IKEA wondering why you just spent £19 on a couple of plastic things you don't need and will never use.
And eating meatballs.
What should brighten your mood considerably as you wander the IKEA boulevards and fill your pockets with free pencils is the news that the folk who inflicted the Billy bookcase on the world have announced a collaboration with fashion designer Walter Van Beirendonck.
Now this is a very brave move on the Swedes' part and it's the potential for it going badly awry that should cheer us. Partly this is because the heavily-bearded Belgian is hardly a household name and is relatively untested in the world of mass-produced gewgaws for middle class homes. But mostly it's because there's no other creator of menswear who most deserves the description "total and utter radge". I don't know if that pithy Scots phrase can be translated exactly into Swedish, but if they have an equivalent I'm sure it has been said of Mr Van Beirendonck in the past.
Among his greatest hits are t-shirts made of transparent plastic on which are sewn slogans like Stop Terrorising Our World and Demand Beauty; brightly-coloured sculptural hats designed to resemble the male genitalia (David Bailey once photographed him wearing this creation); and leather face masks, some accessorised with tweed. No doubt he'll be given a big museum retrospective one day and hailed as a genius. Until then, he inhabits those parts of Planet Fashion which are still relatively unmapped.
"I came up with a story about characters living in the clouds, and the sun and the moon, which were very sad because there was so much going wrong in the world," he explains in a YouTube video about the coming collaboration, which will see him produce a series of five prints. "And they're crying and big tears are falling down and the clouds get big holes. And the cloud people, which are the Wondermooi people, they really started to panic. 'What's going on? Our clouds are broken!'". ("Woondermoi" means beautiful in Flemish, by the way, though that won't help you understand any of the rest of it.)
And it doesn't stop there. IKEA is also planning collaborations with Swedish designer Martin Bergström and London-based Katie Eary, who creates collections in a "spirit of disobedience" and whose fashion cues come from William Burroughs and Irvine Welsh, a man who knows a radge when he sees one. "Eary takes from the lords and gives to the revolutionaries," says the intro on her website, creating collections "that draw on the Acid House scene, cybergoths, shufflers, seditionaries and football thugs."
Quite how all this will translate into IKEA's world of flat-packed, out-of-town ubiquity when the collaborations are launched next year remains to be seen. But I can't wait for the rainy Bank Holiday some time in the future when I might find out.
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